May 07, 2017
P. G. T. Beauregard
Source: Wikimedia Commons
MOTORIST PLOWS THROUGH BRAZILIAN “PROTESTERS”
One of the most emotionally refreshing videos we”ve seen all year comes to us from the highly multicultural nation of Brazil. On Friday, a group of “protesters“ blocked lanes on a Sao Paulo highway, which is an asshole thing to do no matter your political leanings. A motorist”who later told police that he was trying to get to the hospital to visit his grandmother”decided he”d had enough of the “shut it down” shenanigans and decided to plow through the crowd en route to visiting his sick grandma. To our dismay, the motorist is being charged with attempted murder, while the protesters who illegally detained him aren”t being charged with anything. It’s almost as if the government is in cahoots with the street creeps who are trying to destroy civil order”just like in America!
SLATE MAGAZINE CALLS SOROS “A LIBERAL JEW DESTROYING AMERICA”
The impenitently liberal online magazine Slate.com has never been right about anything since being founded in 1996. Last week it turned quite a few heads on its Twitter feed when it linked an article purporting to show deep ties between Evil Scaly Flying Pterodactyl George Soros and Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner. But the article’s description on Twitter read thusly:
George Soros, the liberal Jew destroying America, is also a Jared Kushner business partner.
It appears their intention was to mock the notion that Soros is a “liberal Jew destroying America,” but one usually denotes this by putting it in scare quotes as we”ve just done here. Even after having it called to their attention, the manager of Slate’s Twitter feed kept the phrasing up for at least 24 hours.
TRAYVON MARTIN AWARDED POSTHUMOUS AERONAUTICS DEGREE
Trayvon Martin”the cherubic and innocent young black teenager who was unfairly gunned down and stripped of his tremendous life potential merely because he decided to start bashing George Zimmerman’s head into the ground one night”is posthumously being awarded a bachelor’s degree in aeronautical science from world-renowned Florida Memorial University. It was noted that if he were not brutally gunned down while attempting to give George Zimmerman permanent brain damage, Trayvon would be 22 years old”which, as luck would have it, is also the same age as many college graduates. It is, however, a pyrrhic victory at best”as everyone knows, in this racist society of ours, it is extremely difficult for dead black men to find jobs, even with a college degree.
SUPERMAN V. KKK MOVIE PLANNED
Screenwriter Katherine Lindberg and film producer Marc Rosen are teaming together to give the world what it’s been screaming for: a film where Superman battles and defeats the Ku Klux Klan. Tentatively titled Superman Vs. The KKK, it’s described by Rosen as “a real case of truth being cooler than fiction.””¨
We were unable to procure a comment from a real-life Klansman because we couldn”t find any real-life Klansmen. They only seem to exist in movies these days.
