February 19, 2017
John McCain
Source: Wikimedia Commons
WHITE STUDENTS WEAR “WHITE PRIVILEGE” PINS AND EXPECT PEOPLE NOT TO LAUGH
Led by a fat and homely young woman named Aileen Ida, the College Democrats at Elizabethtown College in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, are encouraging other self-loathing white students to openly declare their unfair privilege by wearing a small white pin in the shape of a puzzle piece. The whole half-baked scheme is the brainchild of an exceedingly lesbionic-looking Lutheran pastor named Barb Girod.
At the University of Cincinnati”which receives nearly $400 million in research funding every year”students are now able to delight in the ethnomasochistic ritual of attending a workshop called “White Fragility, White Tears, and White Allies.” The term “white fragility” refers to an unpleasant tendency among many white people to react defensively when accused of enjoying privileges they don”t enjoy and of committing crimes they never committed.
HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A FAT LESBIAN SCORNED
Kimberly McLeod is a burly and surly petrochemical safety worker in England. She is also a lesbian who erupted with dinosauric rage when a half-dozen women rejected her lesbian advances on the dance floor of a local bar called Loons. One of her six victims developed the droopy-faced affliction known as Bell’s palsy after McLeod socked her in the nose. McLeod admitted guilt in the attack and was convicted of six assault counts and two counts of sexual assault, only to be derided by the British tabloids as a “spurned lesbian“ and a “rejected lesbian.”
TENNESSEE BILL MAKES IT OK TO DRIVE OVER PROTESTERS WHO BLOCK TRAFFIC
Have you grown tired of the endless public disruptions which the modern American left”undoubtedly the sorest losers in the history of our solar system”have foisted upon a largely peaceful and law-abiding public since Donald Trump’s election? When you see a gaggle of these smelly, violent losers blocking traffic, did you ever wish that you were behind the wheel of a car and could “accidentally” plow through about a dozen of them with no repercussions?
If so, friend, Tennessee is looking like a mighty friendly place these days. A pair of Republican lawmakers have introduced a bill which would indemnify drivers from being sued by any protesters who may have accidentally incurred injuries while committing the crime of obstruction. If the “actions leading to the injury were willful,” drivers can still be sued, so it appears that the trick here is to make it all look like a huge and tragic misunderstanding.
