June 18, 2017
BLACK WOMAN GIVES VERBAL BITCH-SLAPPING TO CAITLYN JENNER
“Intersectionality“ is a term referring to the delightful and always comedic tendency of leftist grievance groups to claw out one another’s eyes over the dubious bragging right of whose group has suffered more.
Caitlyn Jenner used to be named Bruce Jenner, World’s Greatest Athlete and star of Hollywood classic Can”t Stop the Music with The Village People.
But one day while his extended family was getting butt injections and having sex with the NBA, Bruce decided he was a woman named Caitlyn. Mostly, he has been lauded for this mentally ill decision. But then the Caitlyn Jenner Motorcade crossed an intersection with a Sassy Black Woman named Amanda Seales, and a car crash ensued.
Seales threw some shade, poured some truth tea, and dropped some street science for the befuddled Jenner, who”d merely said that he believes in America and was rewarded with an emotional flogging because of his skin color.
“If this is a conversation about having conversations, then we have to be listening to each other,” Seales lectured Jenner.
If that was a conversation about having conversations, it’s clear they were having the wrong conversation.
“The government literally said that the black man cannot be in the house or else the woman cannot receive welfare,” Seales told Jenner, either completely lying or entirely unaware that the government never said anything remotely close to that, much less “literally” said that. “That is a big reason why there is a chasm between black women and men in this generation,” Seales chided, as if Jenner had even brought up the subject in the first place.
After treating the gender-confused ex-athlete to a tongue-lashing worthy of the whipping that the white slavers in Roots gave to Kunta Kinte, she was greeted with a resounding chorus of “yeahhhh girls” and “aww yeahs” on black social media forums.
Jenner, for his part, went home with his tail between his legs. That’s right”he has a tail. Sources tell us that he no longer only identifies only as a female, but now as a bold and empowered female dragon.
NEW PHONE APP MAKES BIBLE “GENDER-NEUTRAL”
No matter your religious beliefs, we who work in communications can all agree that God the Father alienated roughly half of his potential market when he made his religion so doggone patriarchal. Thankfully, a mulatto lesbian named Crystal Cheatham has designed an app called “Our Bible” that takes the Judeo-Christian God”who has always been understood as a male”and performs a Lorena Bobbitt on him, rendering him entirely “gender-neutral.”
Oh, and all those Bible verses that unequivocally condemn homosexuality? God was only kidding!
TUCSON MURAL: “MAKE WHITENESS THE OTHER”
You just know that someone who calls herself Tatyana Fazlalizadeh but still insists on living in the USA is going to be a huge pain in the ass. Well, this black woman with the passive-aggressively unpronounceable and self-segregating name is one of three female artists who”ve plastered a mural on a Tucson building that shows angry-looking “black and brown” women sulking alongside the phrase MAKE WHITENESS THE OTHER. As Ms. Titicaca Falafelwaffle squirms to explain:
People look at us as though we are different, as though we are deviant. We are the “other,” and whiteness is the norm. What would it be like if black and brown people weren’t looked at as this thing that is different from the norm?
Funny, that’s not the message we”re getting from this mural. What we glean is “Racial hatred is wrong, unless it’s directed against white people.”
Either way, we want to make it clear that the City of Tucson will most definitely not be getting a Christmas card from Taki’s Mag this year.