October 23, 2016

Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton

Source: Wikimedia Commons

GOP OFFICE FIREBOMBED
In what would have been the biggest news story of the week if it had happened to a Democratic Party office, a GOP office in North Carolina was firebombed last Sunday morning to scant media fanfare. Last weekend over 20 cars were vandalized with spray paint outside a Trump rally in Maine. And this all coincides with Wikileaks revelations that the DNC conspired to hire “€œmentally ill“€ people to disrupt Trump rallies and incite violence. And this all occurs in a media climate that may grudgingly admit that although one side is committing nearly all the violence, the other side deserves it because they”€™re inciting the violence with…words.

‘NIGGER’ TAKES STAGE IN SANTA MONICA
The world-renowned Compton Herald made this startling announcement in its October 17 edition:

A “€œNigger”€ will be on stage in Santa Monica, tonight.

(Kindly forgive the misplaced comma; we”€™re dealing with a local ethnic newspaper here.)

The word “€œnigger”€ is the star of the show in Kyle Bowser’s tour de force play Trial By Jury: The Case of the N Word, which played only one night at the Broad Stage in Santa Monica, CA. Bowser tells a reporter for the Compton Herald that the first time he was called “€œnigger”€ was as a child, whereupon he promptly punched and knocked down the white boy who said it, later receiving hosannas from all the black adults in his neighborhood and leading to a lifelong obsession with the word “€œnigger.”€

As any good liberal knows, saying bad words is far worse than the heroic act of punching people in the face for saying them.

MULATTOS RISING
The HR chief for social-media job-networking titan LinkedIn is in a heap of trouble for using the word “€œmulatto”€ while bending over backwards trying to explain that she thinks diversity is, like, totally cool. In an interview with Fortune, Pat Wadors explained:

Me, personally, I’m an introvert, a woman”€”I have dyslexia and a daughter with an intellectual disability and mixed family relations. My niece is mulatto; two of my sisters married black gentlemen.

Mulattos everywhere erupted in fury that Wadors did not use the preferred terms “€œmixed-race”€ or “€œbiracial.”€

And in the latest perverse twist to an exceedingly perverse campaign season, BuzzFeed founder Jonah Peretti claims that while at a Manhattan dive bar with Ivanka Trump eight to ten years ago, she told him, “€œI”€™ve never seen a mulatto cock, but I”€™d like to.”€ Ms. Trump calls the allegation “€œa complete and total lie,”€ although mulatto penises across the nation were quite likely very flattered.

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