November 23, 2010
My son had his first baby, my first grandchild, and I think he is ugly. I can”t bring myself to tell my son and his wife the baby is cute, because he is really ugly. I feel terribly that I think the baby is ugly and I think they are starting to notice; what can I do?
“Gloomy Grandfather in Gstaad
Dear Gloomy Grandfather in Gstaad,
All babies are ugly unless they are yours. Lie, lie, lie!!! If you have to find a picture of a little boy you think is cute and visualize him, do it. This is one of your most important tasks as grandparent. It does not matter how you get it done, but you must! It is unacceptable not to compliment your grandson, especially your first grandchild.
General guidelines for grandparents speaking to their children or in-laws about their grandchild:
“¢ If he rolls a ball, say, “Wow, he is such a great athlete, I didn”t think you could do that at his age.”
“¢ If he makes a lot of noises, say, “He is so verbal, he must be a genius and have lots to say.”
“¢ When he looks at the wall and slightly changes his facial expression, say, “Oh, he is so curious, watch how he looks at everything,” and once again, “He must be a genius.”
All of these compliments must be peppered with “He is so cute” and “He is simply the cutest.” These compliments need to be repeated every time you see your grandchild.