December 30, 2010

Dear Delphi,

My 63-year-old husband behaved terribly on Christmas Eve. He got a bit drunk and stared”€”really stared“€”at my 30-year-old son’s cute little 24-year-old girlfriend all night! I can put up with the drinking, but the ogling has put me in a foul mood”€”not so much because of my husband, but that poor little thing. What must she think? Do you think she will leave my son?

“€”Desperate Mamma in Mobile

Dear Desperate Mamma in Mobile,

It’s OK to feel a littlesorry for your husband. He probably has not seen a cute little girl up close and in the flesh”€”needless to say sitting down for a meal with him”€”in about 20 years. We all know that men can”€™t help but look, and they will never stop looking, so this is not the main problem.

It is never good if your father seems interested in your girlfriend. Even if you know he is only a harmless drunken leering old man, it can be very creepy when you”€™re the 24-year-old femme on the receiving end of his glances. You could try lecturing him about the permanent emotional trauma such behavior can inflict on pretty young girls, but that could backfire and make it more enticing. He may step up his game and start shooting her some sober flirty glances instead of slow drunken stares, and that’s much worse.

“€œYou don”€™t just happen to leave your husband. It is like saying that you just happened to have sex with a person because you tripped and fell on top of them.”€

Try to water down his drinks. Spend some time in the kitchen experimenting. I don”€™t know whether it’s myth or miracle, but I”€™ve heard that one or two tablespoons of olive oil before drinking alcohol will prevent one from becoming a bad drunk. It is worth a try. If these ideas don”€™t work and the staring continues, make sure he is not allowed to meet your son’s current girlfriend (or any future one) until she has been safely locked in as your son’s wife. Unless it is a supervised daytime activity, invent every possible excuse to keep your husband away from this girl.

Dear Delphi,

Christmas Day was a disaster to say the least. Mid-lunch and many drinks into the day, my father started verbally attacking and degrading my brother. His wife, also quite a few drinks into it, freaked out. She started screaming that it was unacceptable behavior and made her kids and my brother leave right then and there, leaving all the unopened gifts behind. She ruined our Christmas. I am really angry but not sure if I should call her on it.

“€”Angry Sister in London


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