March 21, 2012

Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp

Don”€™t you hate it when actors get involved in politics? I do, and not only because I usually disagree with their views. I hate it because it ruins the rich fantasy life that actors enjoy in my mind.

That old maxim about how one should never meet one’s idols is true. All the “€œcool”€ actors I”€™ve met turned out to be a disappointment compared to my sexy daydreams, but some much more than others.

I”€™ve never met him, but take Sean Penn“€”please! He was the hottest actor around until he started making friends with that nutbag Cesar Chavez, or whatever his name is down in Venezuela. I”€™m hoping Chavez’s cancer will help things along so Penn can go back to saving Haitians and paddling his rowboat around New Orleans.

Johnny Depp has spouted off about politics from time to time, but at least he doesn”€™t rent out his cheekbones for some tiresome political cause. Let us hope that doesn”€™t change. A lot of people are holding a candle for you, Johnny. Stay gorgeous and stay out of politics.

“€œWe want our actors to help us escape from this world, not to lecture us about what’s wrong with it.”€

The last thing we need in the current political climate is another idiot thinking he can make a difference. The only difference that actors can make is making things more idiotic. Don”€™t they get it? We want less politicking and more heartthrobbing. Things are confusing enough as they are. We don”€™t need another schmuck with a Jesus complex thinking he has the power of light behind him. We want our actors to help us escape from this world, not to lecture us about what’s wrong with it.

Enter George Clooney. Not surprisingly, he wants another 15 minutes, this time so we can all bask in his humanitarianism. Millions of movie lovers are not enough for his Godzilla-sized ego. No, no. Now he needs love from the highest office in the land. Yup, he met with the prez last week to “€œshine a light”€ on problems in Sudan. As if Obamarama didn”€™t have enough to worry about, now he needs some actor getting up in his ear? When is Clooney going to realize that just because he gets the big bucks and 1000s of chicks dig him, he’s only an actor? George, stay out of politics. Spend more time in a shrink’s office”€”or maybe even at some AA meetings. Surely the Sudanese and the Chinese can manage without another dumb American trying to tell them how dumb they are.


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