May 24, 2016

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau

Source: Bigstock

It was an accident.

Then again, so was Chappaquiddick.

No, Canada’s Liberal Prime Minister Justin Trudeau didn”€™t kill anybody. Dammit. Because, what with his majority parliament, nothing less than a murder charge could (maybe) get this damn guy ejected from office after only seven months.

Knowledge of Trudeau’s catalog of inane comments and asinine schemes is mostly confined within our borders. And even then, the average Canuck has to know precisely where to locate any sustained, serious criticism of Le Dauphin. Only Trudeau’s good looks and yoga moves get noticed abroad, giving the rest of the world the mistaken impression that Canada’s leader is a thirtysomething (he’s actually 44) savant.

But last Thursday, it was his unhinged petulance”€”and a “€œdarker”€ aspect of his trademark “€œphysical prowess”€“€”that made international news.

“€œCanadian political scandals happen with such irregularity that the elites feel occasionally compelled to invent them.”€

Pissed off about a 46-second delay in voting, Justin lived up to his Zoolander nickname when he”€”journalists vied for the juste-est mot: “€œstrode”€? “€œstamped”€? “€œfuriously sashayed,”€ perhaps?”€”across the House floor to drag the Conservative whip back to his seat.

Yelling “€œGet the f—- out of my way”€ as he manhandled his prey, the prime minister accidentally elbowed a female NDP MP in the chest. Her pained grimace was captured on video, as was the sight of Liberal MPs cheering Trudeau’s tantrum, then jumping over the boards to get in on the subsequent bipartisan shouting match.

(That Trudeau’s freak-out was prompted by obstruction on a vote to legalize assisted suicide is one of those macabre “€œextras”€ that come factory-installed in all “€œprogressive”€ undertakings: “€œHow dare you hinder my mission to make it easier for people to die!!“€)

Then, during his first defensive, deflective “€œapology”€ (so far we”€™ve had four) Trudeau lied so boldly he was booed.

Now, compared with the melees known to break out in other legislatures, #Elbowgate barely merits that (stale) suffix. American “€œcomedian”€ John Oliver equated it to “€œshopping at Trader Joe’s.”€ But Canadian political scandals aren”€™t just dull; they happen with such irregularity that the elites feel occasionally compelled to invent them.

This time, however, the cascade of op-eds and related “€œjournalism”€ (Maclean’s got an NHL referee to perform a play-by-play), plus the scathing jokes and partisan eye-poking (was Canadian Twitter ever this sheerly satisfying?), weren”€™t entirely inapt.

Neither were reminders of the environment Justin was raised in, what with his mother practically belting out “€œHe Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss)”€ for an American reporter in 1979.

And if Obama’s March 9 state dinner toast was a radial tire, then after the week we”€™ve just had, it would be bald:

If things get out of hand, remember that the Prime Minister used to work as a bouncer. [Laughter] Truly. [Laughter]

No, Trudeau’s hissy fit was profoundly unparliamentary, even for him. He’s previously stuck out his tongue at opposition members. This isn”€™t even the first time he’s cursed in the House. Again: Like father, like son…

And”€”in any workplace beyond the Hill, perpetrated by any man with a poles-apart pedigree”€”it would be a fireable (and possibly criminal) offense.

Most readers likely share my dismay that human resources has siphoned so much power from other corporate departments like accounting or sales, as our society’s slow-motion sex change continues. But that’s the world liberals have created, so one might reasonably suspect that”€”ha! Had you going, didn”€™t I?


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