May 12, 2015

Ann Coulter

Ann Coulter

Source: Shutterstock

“€œI was never a true believer, but the money was good.”€

When I started writing about politics and hanging around with conservatives, I started hearing leftists say the weirdest crap.

Stuff that stank of desperation, like some dough-bellied comb-over”€™d dude trawling a mail order bride site.

You know what I mean:

If you”€™re Canadian, you”€™ve been hearing for most of this century that Conservative Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a racist “€œDominionist”€ Christian with a “€œhidden agenda”€ and that any day now, the country will transmogrify into The Handmaid’s Tale.

In actuality, the PM’s spittle-spraying critics “€“ rather like TV’s Bigfoot Hunters or those cranks camped on the shores of Loch Ness “€” believe far more devoutly in Harper’s Christianity than he’s ever seemed to. His real “€œreligion”€ appears to have something to do with hockey and cats.

“€œThe guy’s doubled our Muslim population since 9/11 and/yet his Jewish voter base gets bigger every year.”€

Even the Soviets quickly realized that their go-to cartoon insult “€“ sticking a cowboy’s Stetson on every president’s head “€“ didn”€™t work with JFK. But Canada’s progressives? After three elections, they still can’t admit their “€œHarper with devil’s horns and/or fangs”€ drawings have clearly had a less than devastating effect on voters.

Look: The guy’s doubled our Muslim population since 9/11 and/yet his Jewish voter base gets bigger every year. Plus I have yet to be fitted for my government issue ankle-length skirt.

Worst. White supremacist dystopia. Ever.

Meanwhile, south of the border: Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh are many things, good and bad, but she isn”€™t “€œstupid”€ and he isn”€™t “€œloud.”€ But to leftists, right-wingers are all stupid and loud, and Coulter and Limbaugh are the only ones whose names they know. Think of the three-year-old who points at every animal and yells “€œmoo!”€

More pernicious, though, is the left’s persistent suspicion that Coulter, Limbaugh, and conservative people I know (and even me) “€œdon”€™t really believe that stuff and are just saying it for the money.”€ Gavin McInnes soundly bitchslapped that notion here, but I usually go further:

First off, that’s the kind of thing people who don”€™t have any money always say. They”€™re super confused about how cash is acquired, which is why they resent those like Limbaugh who”€™ve managed to get any.

For almost 25 years, five days a week for three hours a day, Rush Limbaugh has monologued, mostly guest-less, on live radio to a national audience. Think about it: If he doesn”€™t really “€œbelieve that stuff,”€ then he’s arguably more deserving of that $40 million a year because let’s see you do that.


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