August 09, 2015

The Week’s Most Unbreakable, Unshakeable, and Unmistakable Headlines

With over 10 million unique visitors monthly, is one of the world’s most heavily trafficked sites. A bare-bones constellation of discussion forums that are known as “subreddits,” Reddit achieved its massive popularity with its laissez-faire approach to ideas and speech. For years this meant that their giant tent included groups devoted to white nationalism, Holocaust revisionism, and making fun of black people.

Naturally, that situation was not destined to last. Reddit has become so popular that it must now start purging subreddits that are bad for business.

The most famous subreddit to be banned last week was /r/CoonTown, along with spinoffs such as /r/bestofcoontown, /r/koontown, /r/CoonTownMods, and /r/CoonTownMeta. That’s a whole lotta CoonTown, now all of it gone. On Reddit at least, CoonTown is now a ghost town.

Reddit issued a statement that carefully avoided the painfully obvious fact that they were banning speech because it was guilty of the greatest of modern heresies, that thing they call “racism”:

Today…we are banning a handful of communities that exist solely to annoy other redditors, prevent us from improving Reddit, and generally make Reddit worse for everyone else….the best place online to have truly authentic conversations.

It’s the best place online to have truly authentic conversations”€”that is, unless we don’t like what you say. At that point, you aren’t even allowed to converse.

“€œIs it wrong to bristle against a perceived loss of power? Only if you’re a masochist.”€

The splendiferously gorgeous state of Utah is host to intercontinentally famous scenic wonderlands such as Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park. It also hosts the much lesser-known but still unfathomably scenic Negro Bill Canyon.

The canyon is named after William Grandstaff, a black man who helped settle the town of Moab. It used to be called “Nigger Bill Canyon” until 1968, when Lady Bird Johnson ordered the de-niggerization of 143 place names across the country. Landmarks such as Dead Nigger Creek and Nigger Head Mountain fell to the wayside in favor of softer place names in the hope of achieving racial justice or at least averting further riots.

Salt Lake City’s NAACP has recently been pressuring the town of Moab to rename Negro Bill Canyon. But last week, in a 4-3 vote, the Grand County Council reaffirmed that the canyon’s name will stand unmolested.

“€œI was raised with the word “€˜nigger,’” said councilwoman Mary McGann in dissent. “It is offensive, and the word ‘negro’ is just a prettied-up version of the word ‘nigger.’”

Is there something wrong with being pretty?

Way back in 2010, Tennessee lesbians Carol Ann and Laura Jean Stutte claimed they’d been repeatedly harassed by a homophobic neighbor who told them that the only thing better than one dead queer was two dead queers.

They accused this neighbor of burning down their house and painting the word QUEERS on one of its walls.

But now, much to those Tennessee lesbians’ dismay, they will not be able to collect on a $276,000 insurance claim because a jury has decided that they set the fire themselves. The Stuttes”€”really, that’s a pretty good surname for a lesbian couple”€”have yet to be charged with arson or filing a police report, and don’t hold your breath waiting for that to happen or you’ll die of oxygen deprivation, and it’s not worth dying over a pair of lesbians who tell fibs.

At a recent PBS panel to discuss an upcoming documentary about Walt Disney, writer Neal Gabler downplayed longstanding rumors that the creator of Mickey Mouse hated Jews.

Gabler is not only the author of a Disney biography”€”he also wrote An Empire of Their Own: How the Jews Invented Hollywood. He is also Jewish, if you’re keeping tabs.

Gabler said that he pored over every scrap of paper in Disney’s archives and “saw no evidence, other than casual anti-Semitism that virtually every gentile at that time would have, that Walt Disney was an anti-Semite.” Or, as Mencken would put it, Disney refused to hate Jews any more than was absolutely necessary.

About a year ago, actress Meryl Streep claimed Disney was a “gender bigot” and supposedly a hideous anti-Semite.”

At press time, the Jewish CEO of the Walt Disney Company was unavailable for comment. So was his Jewish predecessor.


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