March 16, 2015
Michelle Obama
Source: Shutterstock
“I”M GOING TO KILL YOU, WHITE BOY”
Right next to Brooklyn in the New York City borough of Queens last Thursday morning, a male described as a 5″8″ Hispanic allegedly ran up to a 24-year-old white male, said, “I”m gonna kill you, white boy“ in Spanish, and slashed him in the throat before fleeing on feet that we assume are probably Size 8 or smaller. The victim was taken to a hospital and received stitches in his throat.
SOUTH AFRICA: 72-YEAR-OLD MAN ALLEGEDLY RAPES FIVE-YEAR-OLD GIRL, GIVES HER HIV
In the breathtakingly beautiful and highly functional nation of South Africa, a 72-year-old man has been arrested and charged with raping his lover’s five-year-old daughter and infecting her with HIV as a result. According to South Africa’s Independent Online, the “little girl’s womb is damaged so badly that she will never be able to conceive.”
PEOPLE CALLING OTHER PEOPLE FAGGOTS
South African musical performance-art combo Die Antwoord recently posted an image on Instagram calling massively successful Canadian rapper Drake a “massive faggot.” They subsequently deleted the image while trying to explain that South Africans aren”t nearly as hung-up on words as Americans are.
One of the tippity-top Catholics in Peru recently used the word maricon “the Spanish equivalent of “faggot””to defame an “openly gay” congressman. Bishop Luis Bambaren had previously apologized in 2011 for using the word maricon, but apparently this rotten homophobe and likely repressed homosexual didn”t learn his lesson, did he?
And Grammy-winning singer Sam Smith“a gay man like all entertainers are these days, even the women”claims that while growing up, he used to get called a “faggot” a lot.
“MALE PARTS” IN A FEMALE LOCKER ROOM
Does this look like a woman to you? To us, it looks like Ernest Borgnine in drag. Still, this lumpy, frightening creature insists it’s a woman.
It sure as shootin” didn”t look like a woman to Yvette Cormier, who says she found it “very scary” to see this “woman” standing in the female locker room at a Planet Fitness franchise in Michigan:
If you have male parts you don”t need to be in the women’s locker room. I don”t care what you are; I don”t care if you”re gay lesbian, transgender or transvestite. I am uncomfortable with you as a male in my locker room, in my restroom.
After complaining to the store’s management and other members of the gym, she had her membership revoked. She was accused of “transphobia” even though it appears she may have merely feared the specter of a weird large dude dressed as a woman standing in her locker room.
And what is alleged to be “the nation’s first openly transgender legislator“”Stacie (né Barry) Laughton of New Hampshire”has been arrested and charged with phoning in a false bomb threat to a nearby hospital.
Chicks are crazy, especially the ones who aren”t really chicks.
