January 26, 2015
Billy Crystal
Source: Shutterstock
The Week’s Snappiest, Scrappiest, and Crappiest Headlines
SHOVING ALL THAT GAY STUFF IN OUR FACES AND DOWN OUR THROATS
Two gay icons from the 1970s faced a heated gay backlash last week for making comments that hurt gays” feelings and made gays feel ashamed of being gay.
Billy Crystal first gained fame portraying Jodie Dallas, one of network TV’s first openly gay characters, in the late-70s sitcom Soap. But last week he inflamed the homos” tender nerve endings by taking verbal potshots about explicit gay sex on modern TV. When asked about gay storylines, Crystal told a reporter:
Sometimes I think, “Ah that’s too much for me.”…Sometimes, it’s just pushing it a little too far for my taste and I”m not going to reveal to you which ones they are….I hope people don”t abuse it and shove it in our face…to the point where it feels like an everyday kind of thing.
These comments were too much for the gay community, which started having gay conniptions over it. They were going to make sure that not only would Billy Crystal have the gay lifestyle shoved in his face, they would also ram it down his throat and quite possibly up his tuchis.
Crystal quickly apologized, limply trying to reason that his comments applied to all kinds of explicit sex on TV, not just the gay kind, although technically he had been responding to a question about the gay kind in the first place.
From coast to coast and at several hotspots overseas, the gay world has worshiped Barbra Streisand and her big honker since the 1960s. That is why the gay world is now shocked, appalled, aghast, and revolted to hear that she once used the “F” word. (That would be “faggot.”) Video from the 1980s has recently emerged of the big-nosed fag-hag singer as a dominatrix who’s whipping Harrison Ford before exclaiming “I feel like a faggot!”
“It’s incredibly shocking and heartbreaking for Streisand’s legends of gay fans,” wrote one of Streisand’s legions of shocked and heartbroken gay fans, misspelling “legions” in the process.
But Streisand has a secret weapon that she can wield like a lightsaber against all accusations of homophobia: her gay son Jason, who proves that his mom isn”t a homophobe because, like, her son’s gay.
In last Tuesday night’s State of the Union address, Barack Obama used the words “lesbian,” “bisexual,” and “transgender””the first time any of these words have ever been used in a State of the Union address.
France, that bastion of free speech (so long as it doesn”t diverge one millimeter from Cultural Marxist orthodoxy), has convicted three Twitter users for using “homophobic” hashtags such as #Lesgaysdoiventdisparaîtrecar (“Gays must disappear because…”) and #brûlonslesgayssurdu (“Let’s burn the gays on…”) The accused homophobes all received small fines for inciting violence against the faygelehs.
A Green Party candidate in England has been smeared as “transphobic” for daring to question whether men who suddenly claim they”re women don”t indeed magically transform into women. Aspiring Member of Parliament Rupert Read had written:
Imagine that some people regard themselves within themselves as disabled, as missing a limb. Are disabled people obliged to regard those people as already part of the disabled community? I would suggest: obviously not…. Does feeling psychologically as if you are a woman and making certain changes to your body as a consequence make you a woman? Is it enough, in order to BE a woman, to psychically identify as one? To this second question, we must surely answer: no.
In North Carolina, a female politician found herself in hot water for calling a man a “man” because the man in question thinks he’s a woman. Then she apologized publicly for “using an incorrect gender pronoun,” even though the pronoun in question was biologically accurate.
In England, a guy who still looks like a guy but who claims he’s a chick has caused a mild dust storm of controversy because he wasn”t allowed to use the women’s loo where he worked.
Although we disagree on many political points, we here at Taki’s Mag”as well as all of our friends and partners in the Taki’s Mag community”can all agree that the homosexual and trans-testicle communities were acting extremely uppity last week.
THE MAGIC YARMULKE
Citing a disturbing, alarming, concerning, and”what the hell, even terrifying”uptick of anti-Semitism in Europe, an Israeli barber named Shalom Koresh is designing yarmulkes made of human hair that visually blend into the wearer’s scalp almost like religious camouflage, thereby averting any physical attacks that might befall them should angry mobs of anti-Semites espy them walking innocently down the streets. Koresh is marketing his hairy yarmulke as the “Magic Kippa” and brags to potential consumers that not only can it be dyed and washed like regular yarmulkes”it can also be brushed.
Israel National News describes Gilad Atzmon as “An anti-Semitic Israeli jazz player who describes himself as an “ex-Jew”,” which immediately makes him at least somewhat interesting. The burly saxophonist has been quoted as saying that “it is always Jewish bad behavior that brings disaster upon Jews.” Due to such comments, a concert venue in Nottingham, England recently canceled an upcoming performance by the ex-Jewish anti-Semite.
