May 21, 2017

Source: Wikimedia Commons

In the grand tradition of 1996’s Sokal Affair“€”in which a physics professor hoodwinked an academic journal into publishing a paper that was purposely infused with postmodern gobbledygook that made no sense”€”comes a new successful hoax that unmasks the poststructuralists as the vapid ideological moralists that they are.

A paper titled “€œThe conceptual penis as a social construct“€ was written by Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay to test the credulity of alleged “€œacademic”€ journals. It slipped through the peer-review process with glowing reviews and was published in Cogent Social Sciences. According to the abstract:

Anatomical penises may exist, but as pre-operative transgendered women also have anatomical penises, the penis vis-à-vis maleness is an incoherent construct. We argue that the conceptual penis is better understood not as an anatomical organ but as a social construct isomorphic to performative toxic masculinity. Through detailed poststructuralist discursive criticism and the example of climate change, this paper will challenge the prevailing and damaging social trope that penises are best understood as the male sexual organ and reassign it a more fitting role as a type of masculine performance.

According to Boghossian and Lindsay,

We intended to test the hypothesis that flattery of the academic Left’s moral architecture in general, and of the moral orthodoxy in gender studies in particular, is the overwhelming determiner of publication in an academic journal in the field…. The paper was ridiculous by intention, essentially arguing that penises shouldn”€™t be thought of as male genital organs but as damaging social constructions.

This wonderful website will allow you to view a new and completely meaningless “€œacademic”€ paper written in postmodern jargon every time you refresh the page.

Simply because the sports world is infected with toxic masculinity, it is acutely problematic and unacceptable that in this day and age, an athlete would call another athlete a “€œfaggot.”€ But this is exactly what happened last week when Toronto Blue Jays outfielder Kevin Pillar “€œappeared to call”€ a rival player the “€œF”€ word. After the predictable outrage, Pillar issued one of the most egregiously self-castrating apologies we”€™ve ever heard:

Last night, following my at-bat in the 7th inning, I used inappropriate language towards Braves pitcher Jason Motte. By doing so I had just helped extend the use of a word that has no place in baseball, in sports or anywhere in society today. I”€™m completely and utterly embarrassed and feel horrible to have put the fans, my teammates and the Blue Jays organization in this position. I have apologized personally to Jason Motte, but also need to apologize to the Braves organization and their fans, and most importantly, to the LGBTQ community for the lack of respect I displayed last night.

At press time, it is unclear whether the faggot community has forgiven him.

The team captain of the Anaheim Ducks hockey team, Ryan Getzlaf, was recently fined $10,000 for “€œyelling a homophobic slur“€ at a referee.

At press time, it is unclear whether the fudge-packing, rump-wrangling ref has forgiven him.


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