April 19, 2016



Source: Bigstock

“€œSurely this is the stupidest shit I”€™ve ever said….

“€œIf you can”€™t grab public attention by standing up before the U.S. Senate and saying that Chris Rock, Amy Schumer, and Sacha Baron Cohen should go to the Middle East to battle ISIS, then I give up.”€

Am I really alone among all the writers making fun of Bono this week (see above) to note that, were satire really the industrial-strength stupidity solvent he thinks it is, the U2 singer himself would have been reduced to a small, stubborn carpet stain ages ago?

This 2002 bit about Bono in The Onion, for instance”€””€œVowing to lobby Congress for African aid on progressively larger Jumbotrons until demands are met”€”€”could have been written yesterday. South Park subjected him to scatological (for me, bile-rising) abuse almost ten years ago, portraying him as a sentient chunk of fecal matter, a turd who”€™d cracked the Turing test.

“€œDear Bono: You have everyone’s permission to stop doing this crap. We”€™ve been telling you to let it go for decades.”€

There’s no reason any of this stuff”€””€œRest of U2 Perfectly Fine With Africans Starving,”€ “€œAfrican leaders advise Bono on reform of U2“€”€”should still be as funny as it is. (I chuckled a lot while writing this column.) But Bono is blue-chip, the Berkshire Hathaway (Class A) of comedy.

Like another Irish immigrant”€“cum”€”public menace, the former Paul David Hewson is bolshily resistant to the particular diseases he spreads”€”in his case: counterproductive zillion-dollar “€œhumanitarianism”€; standard-issue “€œclimate change”€ verbal smog; and now, the toxic myth that humorous ridicule is chemo, not shark cartilage, when administered to scoundrels. Call him Typhoid Bono.

Bono’s net worth is an estimated $600 million, yet he notoriously pays less than he could in taxes.

His properties include a whopping pile back in Ireland and a huge unit in the San Remo, a.k.a. the building in Ghostbusters, down the street from the equally exclusive Dakota and across from Central Park, within, according to Charles Murray’s calculations, “€œthe most socially insulated zip code in America.”€

(By the way: Does anyone know if the creators of Ghostbusters picked the San Remo as a wink at the Dakota’s reputation as cursed…?)

“€œCarbon footprints”€? Maybe you don”€™t leave “€™em when you walk on water, cuz here’s Bono’s yacht, christened Kingdom Come.

He’s gotten this rich not through record and ticket sales, but thanks to a 2009 investment in Facebook. The same Facebook that (among many other misdemeanors against free speech) is cooperating with Germany to punish users critical of…Muslims. The same Germany that’s happily exposing one of its citizens, a comedian, to a possible five-year stint in a Turkish prison for mocking a powerful…Muslim.

As Mark Steyn quipped (while he still can): “€œIf introducing comedy to Raqqa sounds a bit of a long shot, maybe Bono could try Germany first.”€

I guess Bono hasn”€™t heard about all this unpleasantness. (See “€œinsulated,”€ above.) After all, like every progressive, he lives in the past, laboring under the misimpression that ISIS “€œgoose steps,”€ for instance. And obviously, word still hasn”€™t reached the 10023 that Chaplin eventually disavowed The Great Dictator, albeit far too late to save who knows how many lives.

If the claims Bono and other twats (right and left) make for satire were sound, the offices of Charlie Hebdo would have been awash with Muslim blood rather than their own. And note the three comedians Bono proffered to nuke the Middle East with joke power: Old and tired? Fat Man and Little Boy. New hotness? Fat Girl Amy Schumer and Little Boys Sacha Baron Cohen and Chris Rock”€”three “€œedgy”€ comedians who, as I”€™ve complained here before, are just craven liberals who cannily conceal their conventionally leftoid messages beneath a veneer of “€œbrave,”€ “€œpolitically incorrect”€ raunch.


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