Friday, November 1st, 2024. I’m at home going through my nightly routine (trying but failing to muster the courage to pull the trigger) when I suddenly start to get dozens of texts from unknown numbers. The first one reads “Is this you? Fuck FUCK holy shit!” Another Thomas Sowell text? No, ...
In the 1992 “Mr. Belvedere” SNL sketch, Tom Hanks plays the president of a fan club for the guy who played Mr. Belvedere on the sitcom. And the gag is that the “fans” are lunatics and stalkers who murder Belvedere’s pets, masturbate while watching the show, and write the actor fan letters ...
Last week’s column was written during my recent health scare; this week’s is being written as I’m recuperating, sober, and thus in a terrible mood. So to make it easier on myself, I’m going to dispense with three different rants. Maybe there’s a connecting theme, maybe there ...
Booze and antibiotics may not be the best cocktail for a column. But hey, that’s the fun. A week ago I bit down on an M&M peanut and it sliced through the soft tissue beneath my bad tooth (56 years old and I’ve only ever had one cavity, but like Babe Ruth at bat, you only need one), and the ...
London, 1911. Two proper gentlemen meet for an ale. “With this land grant and generous endowment by the Brothers Wilks—who stomp the earth to extract petrol for lamps and whatnot—we shall be greatly facilitated in an endeavor of our choice. Wot say thee, friend Jeremy?” “My oath, ...
I’ve had a lot to say over the years about how rightists refuse to act locally, or seem incapable of doing so. With one of the defining aspects of the Trump era being “the God-King will solve all problems at the national level, because all problems emanate from a Deep State cabal,” it’s ...
The defining entertainment industry story of 2024 was the collapse of Hollywood, the “death of movies,” to quote the L.A. Times. The defining story of 2025 is, to quote the Times again, “Will the work ever come back?” Taking some time off from politics (because everyone and their retarded ...
I never did get to do my New Year’s “wrap-up” column (I got distracted by the H-1B visa thing, then the fires started). I feel bad not only because it broke a long-standing tradition (a New Year’s column that’s looser, less formal), but also, you only get that one blessed window per ...
It’s not that most people are stupid (though way too many are). It’s that they become stupid when out of their element. I know girls from high school, dumb as bricks back then, not exactly rocket scientists today. But in the forty years since, they’ve raised great families; they’re ...
In the 1964 movie Lady in a Cage, Olivia de Havilland stars as a fancy lady with a broken hip who finds herself trapped in her staircase elevator during a power outage. Her cries for help alert the “wrong element”; James Caan (his first substantial role) plays a burping, grunting thug who, ...
