August 16, 2014
The Week’s Most Eugenic, Schizophrenic, and Hallucinogenic Headlines
TRAYVON AND RODNEY: THE SEQUEL
Our post-racial nation has found its new Trayvon Martin”albeit one bigger, fatter, and possibly even dumber”in the form of 18-year-old Michael Brown of Ferguson, Missouri. Brown is also America’s new Rodney King, but this time it’s even worse”instead of being pummeled with nightsticks by three white policemen and one Mexican, Brown was shot to death by a cop who, unlike Trayvon Martin’s slayer George Zimmerman, is undeniably white.
And as with the whole sordid Rodney King affair”when an initial jury verdict found police innocent and LA then burned for days”the dilapidated and mostly black St. Louis suburb of Ferguson has seen rioting in various degrees of intensity since last Sunday night. On the rioters” and protesters” side there has been looting and chanting and assaulting and brick-throwing and shooting at police choppers and the tossing of Molotov cocktails. As if the locals weren”t raising enough hell, they”ve been aided and abetted by white communists and New Black Panthers who”ve come down from Chicago to bark about “revolution,” which is a word almost exclusively used by those who wouldn”t have the first clue what to do after all the smoke clears and the embers go cold. They keep screaming for “justice,” although if pressed to actually define that term, many of them would likely babble incoherently before stealing your microphone.
On the law-enforcement side is the chilling spectacle of paramilitary local police forces propped up with high-tech, space-age equipment lovingly supplied by the federal government. They roll in on armored vehicles, lobbing flash grenades and tear-gas canisters and using crowd-dispersing sirens. It makes anyone concerned about liberty squeamish, no matter how dumb and brutish and ineducable and irredeemable the locals are.
Al Sharpton”who has a cable “news” show and hobnobs with the president despite enabling so many hoaxes and egging on so much previous destruction and being so illiterate and mush-mouthed that it’s a miracle he has yet to be laughed off the planet”rushed to St. Louis to belch out gas from deep within his rancid and corrupt bowels. Benjamin L. Crump, who unsuccessfully represented Trayvon Martin’s family in the Zimmerman trial, is now the Brown family’s lawyer. And so much of the media”mainly rich and sheltered intelligent white people who should know better but keep letting their ideology blind them and their emotions get the best of them”is already spinning limp excuses about the criminalization of blackness and the cycle of poverty and the fact that after all we”ve been through, we still have much more work to do until white America finally gets over its toxic racism.
Just as Trayvon was initially depicted as a chocolate cherub innocently buying a bag of Skittles before trial testimony revealed he”d ambushed Zimmerman and was bashing his head into the concrete, the media mostly portrayed Michael Brown as just another underprivileged and underserved black male with a bright and wondrous future ahead of him who was scheduled to start his first day of “college” (technically, it was technical school) on Monday before he was shot dead on Sunday. Then, yesterday, police revealed that Brown was the primary suspect in a violent grocery-store robbery of a box of Swishers cigars that occurred mere minutes before a white policeman shot him dead only a few blocks away.
But mostly the preachers and pundits are right: Not much, if anything, has changed. We”ve gone from Skittles to Swishers. And America is still divided, dumb, and doomed.
KNOCKOUT GAME: STILL A MYTH
Despite all the evidence that the Knockout Game is a pervasive phenomenon wherein youths approach unsuspecting strangers and attempt to knock them unconscious with one punch while friends film them, our wise custodians in the American media assure us that it’s only a myth fostered by racist whites rather than a reality practiced by violent blacks. On Monday evening in Manhattan’s West Village, surveillance cameras captured footage of a “teenager” stalking and then punching a 72-year-old man to the ground before fleeing. But technically this doesn”t qualify as Knockout Game because a surveillance camera, rather than the youth’s friend, captured the event. Therefore, the media can breathe easily and shine its spotlight on “real” victims of violence such as Michael Brown.
OSAMA BIN LADEN SCURRIES ACROSS THE SOUTHERN BORDER
Conservative video prankster James O”Keefe, who singlehandedly brought down ACORN by posing as a pimp in 2009 and registered to vote in 2012 by claiming he was US Attorney General Eric Holder, released a video on Monday that depicts him crossing from Mexico into the United States wearing an Osama Bin Laden mask.
“The border is not secure,” O”Keefe told MailOnline. “In fact, the video shows the border fence is a joke….With a single trip to the border, we proved that President Obama and Congress have failed miserably and are misleading America.”
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