February 02, 2015
The Week’s Most Dismal, Abysmal, and Baptismal Headlines
WHY YOU SHOULDN”T REFER TO PEOPLE OF COLOR AS “COLORED PEOPLE”
Grammatically, “colored people” is undeniably more economical than “people of color.” Yet for reasons that remain mysterious and entirely unexplained, modern leftist speech police have forbidden the former term as they champion the latter.
Only a curmudgeon would deny that “Tavis Smiley” and “Benedict Cumberbatch” are colorful names. But it was the latter’s use of the term “colored actors” on the former’s show”and it must be noted that Tavis Smiley is, indeed, a colored entertainer”which led to much wailing and gnashing of teeth. On the show, Cumberbatch said to Smiley:
I think as far as colored actors go, it gets really difficult in the U.K., and I think a lot of my friends have had more opportunities here than in the U.K., and that’s something that needs to change.
Following the requisite burst of insane outrage over the microaggression that Cumberbatch perpetrated by using the term “colored actors,” the colorless actor publicly debased himself with extreme prejudice. He issued the following statement last Monday:
I’m devastated to have caused offence by using this outmoded terminology. I offer my sincere apologies. I make no excuse for my being an idiot and know the damage is done.
Cumberbatch failed to specify what, if any, “damage” was done as a result of his egregious use of the term “colored actors,” but it would be to argue that he’s not an idiot. The only question that remains is whether you think he’s an idiot for using the term “colored” or for apologizing.
MENINISM: ANTI-FEMINISM WITH JOKES
It is common knowledge that any man who alleges that feminism has morphed into a malignant ideology encouraging the worst aspects of female psychology is merely a sexually inadequate woman-hater prone to occasional outbursts of rape as well as random acts of misogyny.
On Twitter, a ragtag network of anti-feminists who”ve dubbed themselves “meninists“ are fighting feminism with the one weapon that feminists utterly lack: humor. Most meninist jokes revolve around the unequal standards that always curiously seem de rigueur in any push for “equality.”
Sample meninist Tweets:
I have a dream….that one day men will not be judged by the fatness of our wallets but by the content of our character
Stop looking at my bulge when I wear sweatpants. My eyes are up here.
you should never put your hands on a man in any situation
I need Meninism because the movie “Magic Mike” promotes an unrealistic expectation of how men’s bodies should look like.
Naturally, those who live under the delusion that feminism has not become a sinister cabal run by secret witches who ultimately seek to geld and enslave anything with a penis are shocked, outraged, and offended by what is nothing more than a bunch of silly jokes. One earnest essayist says that meninism appeals to a certain “sort of dangerous idiot“ and that its attempts at comedy are “deeply unfunny, casually misogynistic, and unfathomably stupid on every conceivable level.”
Writing that they found meninism to be fundamentally “problematic,” another obviously very touchy writer claims to have been “appalled to see the posts that were being made. I felt as if I had delved into some sort of anti-feminist hell….” Tom Sarmiento, described as a “visiting lecturer in the women’s studies department,” describes meninism as “a problematic backlash not taking feminism for what it is.”
Everything is “problematic” with these people. If your biggest problem is a bunch of harmless (if largely accurate) jokes, you must forever forsake any claim to being oppressed.