The Week’s Most Specious, Facetious, and Diecious Headlines
KEEPING MUSLIM RAPISTS AT ARM’s LENGTH
As Germans rang in the New Year, there were multiple reports of mob-style sexual assaults perpetrated by men of “North African or Arabic” appearance upon native women in every major German city.
Despite this Massive Islamic Rape Wave, German and international media were almost entirely silent until multiple personal accounts on social media pushed the issue kicking and screaming into the spotlight. Former interior minister Hans-Peter Friedrich railed against the German media for imposing a strict “news blackout” and “code of silence” about anything that could possibly suggest that young, swarthy, cell-phone-toting, Middle Eastern male migrants could bring anything but vibrancy. “It’s a scandal that it took days for the media to pick up the reports,” he said.
Here are personal accounts from German women who claim to have suffered assault at the hands of dark-skinned men on New Year’s Eve:
“I was suddenly alone…20 to 30 men were standing around me…every time a hand went away, already arrived the next…I felt helpless.”
“We were fondled, I was touched between my legs. My friends also were fondled. There were quite a big group of people, maybe 30 or 40. You didn’t know who to trust. You tried the whole time to push everyone else away from you.”
“There were so many people there that I no longer was in control of myself where to go or how to defend myself….We wanted help. We ran to these police cars but there was no one there. We know very well that the police at that moment were so understaffed that they couldn’t deal with this, that we women had to go through something like that.”
“We were at the cathedral and from there walked to the Ludwig Museum and passed down to the Rhine. There were suddenly 20 to 30 men who surrounded us, and more and more came.”
“It was scary. Mainly because a nobody helped. I feel so dirty, so used.”
“I had a knee-length skirt on, and suddenly I felt a hand on my backside under my dress. I turned round immediately and saw a grinning face.”
“Suddenly I felt a hand on my bottom, then on my breasts, then I was groped everywhere. It was horrible. Although we screamed and flailed about, the guys didn’t stop. I was beside myself and think that I was touched about 100 times.”
“I was surrounded and helpless. I could do nothing. These men were all over me.”
“I thought to myself that if we stay here in this crowd they could kill us, they could rape us and nobody would notice. I thought we simply had to accept it. There was no one around us who helped or was in a position to help. All I wanted was to get out. I was scared that I wouldn’t leave this crowd alive. I was scared that if someone showed up with a knife I could be raped in the middle of the street.”
Police in Cologne received around 100 criminal complaints linked to the New Year’s Eve mob attacks. Cologne Mayor Henriette Reker, who was stabbed back in October by a German nationalist for her pro-refugee policies, suggested at a news conference on Tuesday that German women bore the brunt of responsibility to protect themselves from being groped and pawed at and raped by these meek, peace-seeking migrants:
It is always possible to keep a certain distance that is longer than an arm’s length.
An “arm’s length,” you say?
Meanwhile, the German government is arresting native Germans for daring to complain about it all.
ROBBERY AT ANTI-ROBBERY PRESS CONFERENCE, VIOLENCE AT ANTI-VIOLENCE RALLY
Last week while Washington, DC’s mayor and police chief were holding a press conference to discuss the city’s high rates of robbery, robbers smashed through the car window of a TV news vehicle and successfully stole equipment a mere 100 feet away.
And in Newark, NJ, a “demonstration against violence” ended in violence when a “skirmish broke out among rival activists,” each side apparently trying to prove they were blacker than the other. The skirmish reportedly “lasted only a few minutes,” which, frankly, seems quite long for a skirmish.