March 02, 2015
The Week’s Most Vapid, Rabid, and Acrid Headlines
TV ANCHOR SUSPENDED FOR SAYING “JIGABOO”
The term “jigaboo””which Urban Dictionary describes as “the funniest sounding racial slur known to man””nearly cost a female broadcaster in Cleveland her job. Last Monday, Kristi Capel“former Miss Missouri USA”uttered the dreaded slur not once but twice while discussing Lady Gaga’s performance of “The Sound of Music” on the Academy Awards:
It’s hard to really hear her voice with all the jigaboo music”whatever you want to call it”jigaboo!
Capel’s co-anchor Wayne Dawson”a black man”smiled at the double-jigaboo and didn”t seem offended in the least, possibly because he may be a self-hating black man.
After the cowardly lions of Twitter started roaring for Capel’s head, she groveled in her own tweet:
I deeply regret my insensitive comment. I didn’t know the meaning and would never intentionally use hurtful language. I sincerely apologise.
Cleveland’s Fox 8 news announced their support for Capel, adding that part of her “healing” process involved meeting with black pastors the day after uttering the grievious racial slur:
This incident has prompted thousands of social media comments and emails from across the viewing area and the nation. Unlike many who have commented, co-anchor Wayne Dawson and many of us at Fox 8 have the advantage of knowing Kristi Capel personally and her work in our community. It is for that reason that we join with the pastors she met with on Tuesday to begin the process of forgiveness and healing.
Capel was suspended for the rest of the week but not fired, which didn”t sit well with Jason Johnson of NBC News. In a short screed littered with typos and grammatical errors (we counted at least a half-dozen), Johnson scolded Capel for practicing shoddy journalism.
At press time, no jigaboos were available for comment.
ERIC HOLDER: RACIAL “TIL THE END
It seems likely that Obama nominee Loretta Lynch will be approved as the nation’s next Attorney General over the next few weeks, meaning that Eric “The Withholder” Holder will be jitterbugging off the national stage and into an undeniably lucrative career of endless race-baiting.
Writing in Politico, a young black aide named Mike Allen performed a boot-licking interview of Holder that would give an impartial observer the impression that an Attorney General’s sole job is promote black racial group interests. Besides passing mention of “LGBT rights” and Hillary Clinton, the interview consisted entirely of Holder squawking about how the standard of evidence is set too high for the feds to successfully prosecute people for civil-rights violations as Holder has tried to do in the Trayvon Martin and Ferguson cases, despite the gaping lack of one shred of evidence that either case had anything to do with race. Holder also recommended that the one book all Americans should read is The Autobiography of Malcolm X. Clearly the fried chickens have come home to roost.
CPAC: PAUL RULES, BUSH DROOLS, WALKER KEEPS WALKING
For the third year in a row, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul won the CPAC straw poll for president, edging out Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker. Jeb Bush fizzled out at fifth, despite reportedly having supporters bused in to the event.
Since the appallingly charm-deficient Dan Aykroyd lookalike Scott Walker is emerging as a frontrunner, naturally the leftist press is seeking to destroy him. One of the tampon-chewing harpies at Jezebel”a site which sees rape under its bed and in its breakfast cereal”did a hit piece alleging that Walker purposely removed a requirement that the University of Wisconsin should report to him the number of sexual assaults on its campuses, because, as we all know, the Republicans are waging a “War on Women” and want to hide all the rampant raping goin” on by campus Republicans in this “rape culture” of ours. The Daily Beast also picked up and ran with the story. A lone blogger soon did a tiny bit of research available to anyone with Google and revealed that Walker only did this at the university’s request to avoid redundancy, since they already report such stats to the feds. Both Jezebel and the Daily Beast were forced to retract their stories, though it’s highly unlikely they”ll abandon their insatiable rape fantasies.
THE MYTH OF THE “MYTH” OF FALSE RAPE ACCUSATIONS, CONT.
Lisa-Jayne Samuels is an extremely fat English mother of four in her late 20s who has on numerous occasions falsely accused men of raping her. She was recently sentenced to 20 months behind bars for her latest false accusation, this time against 33-year-old Terry Brown. According to Brown and his partner Tracey Choularton, they were repeatedly assaulted and harassed by mobs after Samuels lodged her complaint. They say their home was defaced daily with graffiti dubbing Brown a “fucking rapist” and “scum of the earth” and that they were routinely attacked by mobs of up to 20 vigilantes who smashed out all of Brown’s teeth and left him unable to work. Choularton claims that after one attack in which she fell to the ground while pregnant and was left bleeding, she miscarried Brown’s child. Although the extremely fat false accuser has been convicted, it appears that none of the mob vigilantes will face prosecution.