The Week’s Most Heart-Tugging, Big-Lugging, and June-Bugging Headlines WITH FIENDS LIKE THESE There’s an old joke about a passerby who sees a Jewish man walking what appears to be a dachshund. The passerby approaches and says, “Can I pet your dog?” “Oy,” the Jew replies, “I ...
The Week’s Most Rending, Bending, and Three-Day-Weekending Headlines TO’JO MAMA (Sung to the tune of “Nagasaki”) George Soros and Pammy Price, Wok an Asian like fryin’ rice. Berkeley’s Nagasaki where the blackies smoke the cracky Then they turn you into barbecue. You take your baby ...
The Week’s Most Stunning, Cunning, and Preakness-Running Headlines NEVER AGAINESVILLE It’s to Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman’s credit that the one thing he doesn’t lie about is having a wife. Yes, it’s a real woman, not a photo that came with his wallet. Indeed, the Vindmans (Vindmen?) ...
The Week’s Most Commie, Pommy, and Flowers-for-Mommy Headlines THE FUN-HOUSE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES You’ll get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head, Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown! A Cole Porter song is the new GOP handbook. And Republicans are having regrets. Last week GOP House ...
The Week’s Most Dozing, Posing, and Run-for-the-Rosing Headlines GOVERNMENT CHEESE DIPS Black-run cities love government giveaways. To a point. Free cheese? Check. Free beans? Not so much. Last week NYC mayor Eric Adams slammed Texas governor Greg Abbott for purposely targeting “black-run ...
The Week’s Most Gayish, Grayish, and May-Dayish Headlines FORTY ACRES FOR A FOOL William Darity, a Duke University “professor of economics,” declared last week that the U.S. should shell out $14 trillion for blacks as reparations for slavery. Darity, who’s black himself, believes this ...
The Week’s Most Bitter, Aglitter, and Eid al-Fitr Headlines REPARATION OUCH Attention, Walmart clobbers! Blue Ash, a Cincinnati suburb, became black-and-blue ashy after 37-year-old Karen Ivery soul-trained her way into a local Walmart and demanded $1,000 in free groceries as “reparations” ...
The Week’s Most Boxing, Outfoxing, and Easter-for-the-Orthodoxing Headlines LARDO CALORIESSIAN Celebrity fetishes are nothing new. Rousseau liked getting spanked (hence his “Discourse on the Arse and Sciences”), James Joyce sniffed farts (his masterwork was originally titled Pewlysses), and ...
The Week’s Most Begging, Bootlegging, and Easter-Egging Headlines HOSTAGE NEGROTIATOR Mark Taylor might be the ballsiest lawyer ever; dude’s trying to score cash by purposely antagonizing black folks. Last September, white-guy Taylor was appointed superintendent of Virginia’s Spotsylvania ...
The Week’s Most Ghoulish, Coolish, and April-Foolish Headlines CONSERVATIVE DING-A-LINGS Imagine a Ron DeSantis conference call with Florida conservatives... DeSantis: “You know how I’m out there every day fighting to keep our schools free of transgender propaganda and pornographic, ...
