December 23, 2018
The Week’s Rudest, Crudest, and Shrewdest Headlines
RUDOLPH THE RACIST, SEXIST, HOMOPHOBIC REINDEER
Yuletide is upon us, oh ye rosy-cheeked readers, and it wouldn’t be a major holiday without progressives claiming that innocent and beloved emblems of the holiday season be dragged through the mud for committing sins against the Church of Cultural Marxism.
Last month it was Franklin, the black character from Peanuts, who endured the racist brutalization of having an entire side of a dinner table to himself during Thanksgiving.
This month, the Huffington Post and its readers are claiming that the 1964 TV classic Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer hits the trifecta—it is racist, sexist, and homophobic. They called the movie “seriously problematic” and alleged that “Viewers are noticing the tale may not be so jolly after all.”
In an extreme stretch, it has been dubbed “racist” because Rudolph’s father initially has a problem because, unlike all the other reindeers, Rudolph has a red nose and his dad forced him to wear a fake nose just so he could “pass.” His father is clearly guilty of “othering” his son.
And the racist father of Clarice, the reindeer girl on whom Rudolph has a serious crush, issues his daughter a stern warning not to miscegenate: “Now there is one thing I want to make very plain: No doe of mine is going to be seen with a red-nosed reindeer.”
The film is being called “sexist” because when Rudolph’s mom suggests she join a search team to look for her missing son, Rudolph’s dad shushes her and says, “No, this is man’s work.” In rare outtakes that were never incorporated into the final TV movie, Rudolph’s mom is depicted developing an eating disorder and cutting herself.
And a commenter accused the movie of “homophobia” without citing why, but these days you don’t need to:
Yearly reminder that #Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a parable on racism & homophobia w/Santa as a bigoted exploitative prick. Santa’s operation is an HR nightmare and in serious need of diversity and inclusion training.
Merry Christmas to all—except those who think that Christmas classics are riddled with hate speech.
BRITISH SCHOOL: ALL GENDERS CAN HAVE PERIODS
Despite the astronomical suicide rates among those with gender dysphoria and the fact that gays and lesbians die 12 years earlier than heterosexuals, England’s Royal College of Paediatricians and Child Health declared earlier this year that it was “healthy” to teach schoolchildren about these lifestyles:
There needs to be a clear statement that LGBT people and relationships are part of teaching about healthy relationships in primary school. This can be demonstrated in relation to families – but also it is helpful to children to learn the meaning of terms such as lesbian, gay and bisexual.
In a move that is ostensibly “healthy” but will undoubtedly cause severe mental-health problems in children, in England’s Brighton & Hove City Council recently released a statement urging that children should be taught that both boys and girls can have menstrual cycles:
Trans boys and men and non-binary people may have periods…menstruation must be inclusive of all genders…language and learning about periods is inclusive of all genders, cultures, faiths and sexual orientations. For example; ‘girls and women and others who have periods.’…By encouraging effective education on menstruation and puberty, we hope to reduce stigma and ensure no child or young person feels shame in asking for period products inside or outside of school if they need them…. We believe that it’s important for all genders to be able to learn and talk about menstruation together… Our approach recognises the fact that some people who have periods are trans or non-binary.
Whom the gods would destroy, they would first make mad.
COUPLE JAILED FOR NAMING THEIR BABY “ADOLF”
Along with four other members of a banned English political party known as National Action, Adam Thomas and his girlfriend Claudia Patatas are going to prison for the crime of liking Adolf Hitler and the KKK.
Collectively, the group was handed 34 years’ worth of sentences. Thomas faces six-and-a-half years and Patatas is going away for five years. Among their crimes are posing in KKK robes and naming their son Adolf.
While sentencing Patatas, the judge said:
You were equally as extreme as Thomas both in your views and actions. You acted together in all you thought, said and did, in the naming of your son and the disturbing photographs of your child, surrounded by symbols of Nazism and the Ku Klux Klan.
Little Adolf will effectively be an orphan in the interim.
Why, it’s almost as if people were allowed to like Adolf Hitler, the world might change significantly.
ALL-WOMAN MUSIC FESTIVAL GUILTY OF DISCRIMINATION
Last year a ragtag coalition of man-hating, menses-smearing feminists and lesbians held a music festival in Sweden—the country where everything is rape—that billed itself as the “first major music festival for women, non-binary and transgender only.” Male workers were allowed to accompany musical entourages, but they were allegedly forced to stay in a “man-pen” backstage.
Swedish authorities, in what appears to be an earnest attempt to apply their insanity equally, have determined that the event’s organizers are guilty of discrimination by describing the festival as “male-free.”
They miss one crucial point: Any man who would want to attend this Ren Faire for Sapphic Misandrists is no man at all.
FROM “HATE” CRIME TO “DISLIKE” CRIME
Hold onto your chairs, because this is horrifying and terrifying: Near midnight on October 17 on a train from York to Leeds, an unknown British man was heard “talking loudly” about his “dislike of Muslims.”
Naturally, British Transport Police were contacted and are busy investigating leads in order to bring this person to justice and prosecute him for a hate crime.
Within ten years, we expect people to be sent to gulags for being foolish enough to express they are “not exactly fond of” a particular protected group.
Ten years after that, people will be shot in the head on live TV for saying that Muslims are “not my cup of tea.”
LESBIAN TENNIS GREAT SCOLDED FOR SAYING PENISES HAVE NO PLACE IN WOMEN’S TENNIS
Martina Navratilova is the hatchet-faced tennis legend who achieved fame not only for being a Wimbledon champ, but for being the Ellen DeGeneres of female tennis—she declared her fondness for snatch long before most other female tennis stars, whom most of the world assumed to be lesbians, anyway.
Ms. Martina recently came under fire for making the shocking demand that female tennis enact “standards” that made it impossible for men to compete against women in women’s tennis. When a Twitter follower asked her what she thought about “transgender women”—i.e., “men”—competing in women’s tennis, she spewed out the following vile comments:
Clearly that can’t be right. You can’t just proclaim yourself a female and be able to compete against women. There must be some standards, and having a penis and competing as a woman would not fit that standard.
The pro-trans community fairly pooped their diapers at this audacious challenge to the delusion that they claim is empowering but instead leads to astronomical levels of self-harm and self-cessation.
But bowing to the scolding and shaming and mocking and bullying that used to be routine for gay people and transvestites—remember, a quarter-century ago, NO ONE was called “transgender,” whereas now no one is called a “transvestite”—Navratilova caved and admitted that her comments were “transphobic” and that she clearly didn’t know what she was talking about until the estrogen-crazed torch mobs from the Island of Misfit Toys made her see the light.
Every Monday, Jim Goad reads the previous day’s “Week That Perished” on his podcast.