Navaho Nation, Monument Valley

Six Feet Undergroundhog Day

Well, so much for last week’s experiment with a race-and-politics-free column about the entertainment industry; it landed with a thud so loud I checked my roof for Eric Clapton’s son (I did that joke years ago and it provoked a furious email from a deeply offended reader. So I’m repeating ...

Writers Gulled

My friends (and one or two foes) have informed me that my past few columns have been downers. “Can’t you do something a little lighter?” they ask. “Also, what’s your take on the WGA strike?” Happy to oblige, friends and foes who for once are not an imaginary opening-paragraph device ...

Brown Shirts ’n’ Skins

Last week a clip from something called “Timcast” went viral. Some round-faced, beady-eyed stoner (I think that’s “Tim”) was debating a manic Robert Downey Jr. look-alike (I guess that’s “cast”) about trannies. Robert Downeysyndrome was telling Tiny-eyed Tim that the massive uptick ...

Pessimistic River

Call it prescience...or bad timing. The moment I finished last week’s column, Pew released a poll proving my point about the difference between 1970s urban blight and that of the present; how it comes down to optimism back then (the belief that “the powers that be” opposed the rot) vs. ...

Shirkling the Drain

“Circling the drain.” It’s a phrase I first heard in a non-plumbing context when a doctor said it in reference to my elderly father’s condition. It basically means dying, but not yet dead. The end seems certain, but the patient clings to life. It’s a terribly brutal phrase to use ...

Third Reicher’s Island

Continuing with last week’s theme—the decennial of my “outing”—let’s talk about the Holocaust. Because I’m never going to be allowed to not talk about it. Lord knows I’ve tried. I stopped speaking about it publicly after 1995. Returning from a monthlong gig at Waseda University in ...

Thank You for Your Disservice

Christians and Jews have had their Holy Week; now it’s my turn. Ten years ago, April 20, 2013, I was “outed” as David Cole. April 20, as you likely know, is a loaded date—the birthday of a terrible, terrible man. But enough about George Takei. The outing’s the reason you’re reading ...

Pyromaganacs

Dave: “Let’s talk about Doug Mackey, the guy convicted of posting memes!” Readers: “Oh crap, I bet Dave’s gonna be contrarian and scolding, like a broken fucking record.” Dear readers, you shouldn’t cuss so much. That said, maybe I am becoming a tad predictable. So before I started ...

The Genocide Strikes Back

That tranny genocide is something, huh? It’s like the Yakov Smirnoff of genocides: “In Trannyland, genocide victims kill you!” In light of last week’s Christian school massacre, I wanna revisit something I wrote a year ago regarding female influence in trannyism. I pointed out that ...

Storming of the Capitol

I’m Sick of the 6th (Why Aren’t You?)

Here’s a brainteaser: Was Samuel Byck a would-be assassin? To refresh your memory, here’s his story: Sam Byck was a miserable failure. Born to a Philadelphia Jewish family, Byck was the child they didn’t brag about. A failure at business, a failure at marriage, a failure at life in ...