Stonehenge, Wiltshire

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Bummer, Mummer, and Farewell to Summer Headlines SAGGY ASSES The actors’ strike marches on! Well, limps. The war between streamers and studios on one side and actors on the other has entered a new phase. As union members go broke, SAG decided last week to hold an auction to raise money for the poor suffering black women cast in ...


The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Sabering, Neighboring, and Day-of-Laboring Headlines 2023: A SPICE ODYSSEY A prehistoric veldt in South Asia. Members of a hairy, knuckle-walking Paleolithic cavemen tribe stare quizzically at a large black monolith. ...

Ka'anapali Beach in Lahaina, Maui, Hawaii.

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Lurkin’, Twerkin’, and Jerkin’ Headlines MAKE THAT 86,999 As Sen. Joe Manchin—a.k.a. “the kid from Deliverance with a super PAC”—mulls his political future, which may include a third-party run under the ...

Barack Obama

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Tiring, Inspiring, and Wildfiring Headlines AUTISTINIAN PRIVILEGE Could this be the end of “cancel culture”? For one lucky fella, apparently so. HuffPost recently ran a breathless exposé of Richard Hanania, a ...

Lizzo

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Fissioned, Partitioned, and Air-Conditioned Headlines TURBAN BLIGHT Don’t know much about history, Don’t know much of Indira Gandhi, Don’t know what happened at Amritsar, From California that place is far. But I ...

Fran Drescher

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Spaying, Splaying, and Enola Gaying Headlines GOO GOO G’JEWB When Fran Drescher was elected president of SAG-AFTRA, it was only because people with more annoying voices were unavailable. Gilbert Gottfried and ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Lean, Mean, and Augustine Headlines WELL, BLOW ME DOWNTOWN June 2021, Downtown L.A.—A Mexican had been stockpiling illegal fireworks (the only thing Mexis love more than drunk driving is setting off fireworks; the ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Spiking, Striking, and Skirt-Hiking Headlines NONTRANSFERABLE NON-SKILLS The Writers Guild strike is like a Rocky IV alternate ending. Drago says, “I must break you,” Rocky says, “Go for it,” and Drago KOs him ...

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Knowing, Crowing, and Beachgoing Headlines WILLY WONKKKA Last week the trailer for the new Willy Wonka prequel had its world premiere. Wonka stars delicate androgyne Timothée Chalamet as a young version of the ...

Harrison Ford as Han Solo

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Swaying, Slaying, and Dog Daying Headlines INDIANA JONES AND THE HOLOCAUST OF INEVITABILITY Way to go, Indy. You saved Hitler. Again. In Raiders of the Lost Ark, Hitler insists on being the first to open the Ark, ...


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