The Week’s Most Trolling, Strolling, and Boulder-Rolling Headlines EAGLE ROCKED L.A.’s Eagle Rock is situated between the filth of Downtown and the Armenians of Glendale. It’s known as the place where there’s never been a house sold without the buyer saying to his wife, “Look, it’s what we can afford.” Last week Eagle Rock saw the most excitement it’s witnessed since that time in 1997 when a homebuyer bought without reluctance. A black gentleman speeding down the 134 freeway (which runs through Eagle Rock like a river...if rivers spewed carbon monoxide and sounded like ...
The Week’s Most Calming, Embalming, and Sunday Palming Headlines NEXT TIME TRY PEPSI The Sentinelese are a pre-neolithic tribe of “negrito” cavemen who live on an island in the Indian Ocean. ...
The Week’s Most Quisling, Sizzling, and April Drizzling Headlines BEAN BED Sometimes the German isn’t the monster. ICE detained a German tourist for sixteen days when he tried to cross into the ...
The Week’s Most Drooling, Cooling, and April Fooling Headlines CONSTIPATION CAMP Last week saw a Chicago-to-India flight that was forced to abort because the toilets became ...
The Week’s Most Boxing, Doxing, and Equinoxing Headlines JET BROWN There’s an old joke about a white man who’s flying from an impoverished African nation. On the plane with ...
The Week’s Most Archy, Starchy, and Ides of Marchy Headlines DOG POUNDED Last week was a complicated one for blacks and dogs. First to Pittsburg. No, not Pittsburgh. That’s ...
The Week’s Most Flowery, Bowery, and Lose-an-Houry Headlines THE KARATE CRUD An unshaven Appalachian hillbilly, a corrupt slovenly Jew, and a vulgar accused sex offender walk ...
The Week’s Most Gladdening, Saddening, and March Maddening Headlines GLADYS KNIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD The 2006 Night of the Living Dead remake features a creepy mortician ...
The Week’s Most Larking, Barking, and Rosa Parking Headlines BUS BOYS As reported last week, L.A. Metro made all subway rides free during the course of the fire emergencies in ...
The Week’s Most Shaking, Baking, and Year-of-the-Snaking Headlines DOODLER DIDDLER Darrin Bell had it all...Pulitzer-winning Trump-hating black political cartoonist for the ...
The Week’s Most Tiresome, Miresome, and On-Firesome Headlines CLOWNTOWN L.A. You know you have a frail infrastructure when a birthday clown can cripple your power grid. Two ...
The Week’s Most Swelling, Smelling, and Biden-Farewelling Headlines GRANDMA THROWSES Animal rights, animal wrongs. A new study claims that vegans are more likely to be ...
The Week’s Most Aching, Staking, and Resolution-Breaking Headlines MALAISE AT REST Jimmy Carter has passed, and whatever your political affiliation, everyone can agree that ...
The Week’s Most Leary, Dreary, and New Yeary Headlines INMATE, OUTMATE Biden concluded 2024 by commuting the sentences of every federal death row inmate, including ...
The Week’s Most Mingling, Singling, and Kris Kringling Headlines A DINGBAT ATE ME BABY Remember the good old days when Australians and New Zealanders were thought of as rugged ...
The Week’s Most Snowing, Blowing, and Ho-Ho-Ho-ing Headlines DEARTH PENALTY Scandinavians have a problem when it comes to crime and punishment. As in, they don’t punish ...
Subscribe to Taki's Magazine for an ad-free experience and help us stand against political correctness.
Join NowSign up to receive posts
