Michael Bloomberg

News

The Week That Perished

Did you ever get the sense that half of the world sees a completely different world than you do?


Major General Qassem Soleimani

News

The Week That Perished

We suggest they rename it Suck My Dixie Highway and deal with Florida’s innumerable real-life problems.

Robert De Niro

News

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Crustiest, Rustiest, and Mustiest Headlines ROBERT DE NIRO EXPRESSES WEIRD S...
President Donald Trump

News

The Week That Perished

They started screaming about miscounted votes, but when the votes were recounted, he had still won.

Greta Thunberg

News

The Week That Perished

The company’s net value is around $30 billion, so naturally they identify with the struggles of the oppressed.

News

The Week That Perished

Because it’s 2019, people are naturally looking for ways to depict Santa and his elves as Hitler and the SS.

Sacha Baron Cohen

News

The Week That Perished

Even though she apparently lacks even a droplet of charisma, Miz Ara was slated to give a speech about, oh, vaginas and art or something at Oxford Brookes University until some perpetually aggrieved casualty of gender dysphoria caught wind of the fact that Ara might as well be Hitler for embracing such a debunked, hateful, and dangerous idea as “women are women.”

News

The Week That Perished

A new promotional video by the state’s security agency depicts atheism, homosexuality, and feminism as “extremist ideas” that deserve derision, scorn, shunning, humiliation, torture, and, what the hell, decapitation.

News

The Week That Perished

Is this the dawn of a murderous turf war between Mexican drug cartels and polyamorous heretic Mormons? Grab the popcorn!

Michelle Obama

News

The Week That Perished

Nineteen million dollars is quite a pretty penny for being called a fag. Hell, for a mere thousand semolians, we’ll do the best Rip Taylor impression you’ve ever seen.


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