The Week’s Most Ghoulish, Coolish, and April-Foolish Headlines CONSERVATIVE DING-A-LINGS Imagine a Ron DeSantis conference call with Florida conservatives... DeSantis: “You know how I’m out there every day fighting to keep our ...

The Week’s Most Toxical, Paradoxical, and Equinoxical Headlines WAIL, WAIL, THE GANG’S ALL HERE Remember when America’s “backyard” mattered? When people were obsessed with nations like El Salvador, Nicaragua, and ...

The Week’s Most Blah, Nah, and Erin-go-Bragh Headlines OSCAR AIN’T GOLD; HE’S YELLA Americans might remember Judge Lance Ito from the O.J. Simpson criminal trial, but few recall that the judge in the O.J. civil trial was Asian ...

The Week’s Most Arching, Starching, and Ides-of-Marching Headlines JEW-F.O. Between Tucker Carlson’s UFO obsession and the recent spate of “flying objects” shot down by the Biden administration, interest in space invaders is at ...

The Week’s Most Mayan, Achaian, and In-Like-a-Lion Headlines BOSTON MAR-ATHON If a foreigner from some remote part of the world, with no knowledge of the U.S., were to watch American TV and online commercials, he’d think the nation ...

The Week's Most Bent, Spent, and Given-Up-For-Lent Headlines  BROWNIE V. BOARD OF EDUCATION The final week of Black History Month is upon us, and peanut butter inventors are going from smooth to crunchy in their forever-war ...

The Week’s Most Spaying, Slaying, and Presidents’-Daying Headlines I GOT YOU, BOOB California’s 31-year “year of the woman” is finally coming to an end (that was one looooong year). In 1992 two female Democrats—Barbara ...

The Week’s Most Narrowing, Harrowing, and Cupid’s Arrowing Headlines UP, UP, AND HUAWEI IN MY BEAUTIFUL BALLOON The Chinese just can’t help stealing intellectual property. And as always, their pilfered remakes are of inferior ...

The Week’s Most Swarming, Norming, and Storming Headlines THE FINAL SOIL-UTION It’s a popular meme: A wolf, spying a bunch of hunter-gatherers, muses, “Maybe I’ll befriend those humans; what’s the worst that could ...

The Week’s Most Creamy, Steamy, and I-Have-a-Dreamy Headlines SHRIMP ON THE KLAUS BARBIE In this week’s edition of “you can’t win fer losin’,” Australian whites tried to do the right thing for their people of color, only to ...

The Week’s Most Evolving, Absolving, and New Year’s Resolving Headlines KAREN-EYES CODY “Iron-Eyes Cody,” one of the most successful Native American actors in American history, is perhaps best known as the “crying Indian” ...

The Week’s Most Cheering, Jeering, and Happy New Yearing Headlines SLAP UNHAPPY Poor Will Smith, doomed to a career bookended by plaintively wailing, “How come they don’t want me, man?” Smith’s reportedly in deep distress ...