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Time Alone With the Boys, Feeling Stalked, Pregnant Harpy, and Lush Wife

Dear Delphi, I am a 26-year-old boy and have a great girlfriend I really like. The problem is, I want to have some time with the boys but I can"€™t seem to manage. This is how the conversation usually goes: Me: "€œI am going out to dinner with Jim and John."€ Her: "€œGreat. I will go to ...

Flirty Baristas, Amorous Exes, Freeloading Friends, and Feeling Fat

Dear Friends, From..."€œWill I confuse my boy dog if I dress him up like a girl dog? I think the girl dog clothes are so much cuter and just can"€™t help myself"€...to..."€œI am really concerned that 9/11 was a conspiracy to distract Americans from what is really going on in the world, and ...

Evil Intentions, Inheritance Angst, and Postpartum Exhaustion

Dear Delphi, Having grown up a certain way with certain expectations, I am very concerned that my parents are spending my inheritance with great folly at an alarming rate. I fear that when they do finally go to meet their maker, I will not be left with sufficient funds to continue living in my ...

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Dried-Up, Chatted-Out, Dirty, and Hungover

Dear Delphi, I am a 65-year-old man. I just got my 2nd divorce. I was wondering: Do I have any chance of getting another girl on a budget (I spent quite a bit on Wife Number 2)? "€”Playboy on a Budget in L.A. Dear Playboy on a Budget in L.A., NO! You have no chance at your age of getting a ...

Mind Your Manners and Blame Hollywood

Dear Delphi, I detest my brother-in-law. He is close to 40, unemployed, lazy, and arrogant. I don"€™t know why my sweet little sister married him. Luckily we do not live in the same city, but family holidays are becoming a real problem. Forget about being able to hold a conversation; I can"€™t ...

Freshman Freakout, Pussy Pandering, and How to Handle a Bitchy Mother-in-Law

Dear Delphi, I am really upset. I am a 9th-grade boy and I just started boarding school this fall. I play lacrosse, I think I am cute enough, but not one girl has even looked in my direction. I asked my parents how I should approach them, what I should do, etc. They gave me the standard don"€™t ...