The Week’s Most Glomming, Aplombing, and Flowers-for-Momming Headlines BREAKING BAD (WIND) How do you know you’re the least popular American president in history? When you lose a ratings war to farts. In the 1990s, Howard Stern, at the time the most highly rated radio host in the U.S., dominated the marketplace by farting into the mic. That was his act. He’d fart, he’d say “lesbian,” and he’d fart again. And for some reason Americans couldn’t get enough of it. The Clinton era was one of high art. Since Covid, Stern’s transformed himself into a proper respectable ...
The Week’s Most Trying, Plying, and Cinco-de-Maying Headlines OFF THE BEATEN PATHOLOGICAL Tranny advocates can’t find their Matthew Shepard, the gay man “beaten, tortured, and crucified by ...
The Week’s Most Fussing, Trussing, and Exodussing Headlines HOLLYWOOD MAGIC, HOLLYWOOD TRAGIC The anchor of the Universal Studios Hollywood theme park is the legendary tram ride, which used to ...
The Week’s Most Disaster-Heading, Needle-Threading, and Matzo-Breading Headlines PALM BLEEDINGS Remember Dionne Warwick’s Psychic Friends? Well, Danielle Cherakiyah Johnson ...
The Week’s Most Gayish, Grayish, and Patriots’ Dayish Headlines TAKING IT UP THE BUTT(ERFLY) There was a time when leftists demanded that the entire world stand still for a ...
The Week’s Most Bitter, Glitter, and Eid al-Fitr Headlines WE INTERRUPT YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMADAN... Canadians are like sloths. It’s hard to hate sloths. They’re ...
The Week’s Funniest, Runniest, and Easter Bunniest Headlines GENTILE CLUBS, JEWISH BALLS In early-1900s West L.A., the WASP elites spent their leisure time at the Rancho ...
The Week’s Clingiest, Stringiest, and Springiest Headlines SXSS The South by Southwest (SXSW) film and music festival in Austin is no stranger to disruption. In 2014, a man ...
The Week’s Most Bah, Blah, and Erin-Go-Bragh Headlines AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THE TEACHER AWAY (HOPEFULLY) The Long Beach (California) Unified School District has paid $900,000 ...
The Week’s Most Glowering, Empowering, and Lose-an-Houring Headlines HEAP BAD DECISION The Telegraph has declared Americans “in revolt” against “green energy,” thanks ...
The Week’s Most Scion, Zion, and In-Like-a-Lion Headlines KURDS AND WHY Mohammed El-Kurd bills himself as “the first-ever Palestine correspondent for The Nation.” Though ...
The Week’s Most Vile, Worthwhile, and Bissextile Headlines MARCUS STARVEY According to The New York Times, there’s a growing movement of American blacks relocating to ...
The Week’s Most Torrential, Deferential, and Presidential Headlines NUTS TO YOU A guy walks into a doctor’s office. Though normal from all outward appearances, when the man ...
The Week’s Most Wining, Dining, and Be-My-Valentining Headlines HOLLYWOOD’S BLACKLIST Santa’s Village was an amusement park where kids could experience Christmas ...
The Week’s Most Veering, Peering, and Leap-Yearing Headlines SOMEWHERE OVER THE BRAIN-SLOW It was the greatest unsolved mystery of our time. D.B. Cooper? The Black Dahlia? The ...
The Week’s Most Humping, Lumping, and Border-Jumping Headlines EXTERMINATION CHARGING STATION You can’t spell “never again” without “EV.” Last week Elon Musk faced a ...
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