Mount Taranaki, New Zealand

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Narrowing, Harrowing, and Cupid-Arrowing Headlines HURTY GURDY It was the worst week for Sweden since that time the Muppet chef made ribbestek and nobody ever saw Miss Piggy again. First, there was Salwan Momika, an Iraqi atheist and TikTok prankster residing in Stockholm. Momika’s favorite online gag was to burn Qurans while telling Muslims to “come and get me.” So last week Muslims came and got him; Momika was shot dead on his balcony while performing his latest stunt, burning copies of Sweden’s only contribution to Western lit: Pippi Longstocking. While ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Tiresome, Miresome, and On-Firesome Headlines CLOWNTOWN L.A. You know you have a frail infrastructure when a birthday clown can cripple your power grid. Two ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Swelling, Smelling, and Biden-Farewelling Headlines GRANDMA THROWSES Animal rights, animal wrongs. A new study claims that vegans are more likely to be ...

James Earl Carter

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Aching, Staking, and Resolution-Breaking Headlines MALAISE AT REST Jimmy Carter has passed, and whatever your political affiliation, everyone can agree that ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Leary, Dreary, and New Yeary Headlines INMATE, OUTMATE Biden concluded 2024 by commuting the sentences of every federal death row inmate, including ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Mingling, Singling, and Kris Kringling Headlines A DINGBAT ATE ME BABY Remember the good old days when Australians and New Zealanders were thought of as rugged ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Snowing, Blowing, and Ho-Ho-Ho-ing Headlines DEARTH PENALTY Scandinavians have a problem when it comes to crime and punishment. As in, they don’t punish ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Barreling, Caroling, and Gay-Appareling Headlines OLD MAN RAGING RIVER This post-Thanksgiving story could be subtitled “jive turkey becomes unalive ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Wrecking, Henpecking, and Hall-Decking Headlines OH, FOR GOODNESS SAKÉ The word is out in L.A.: Don’t drink the water. Because another wacky Asian chick has ...

Southern Alps, New Zealand

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Sectioning, Detectioning, and Post-Electioning Headlines ALMOND JOYLESS Kamala Harris should’ve seen the warning signs. When the sequel to the Joaquin Phoenix ...

Donald Trump

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Embering, Dismembering, and Novembering Headlines OCTOBER SURPRISE? MORE LIKE OCTOBER COW-PIES Americans need a refresher on the concept of “October ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Meaty, Peaty, and Trick-or-Treaty Headlines MOAT-TOWN With the L.A. Dodgers in the World Series—and with ticket prices reaching Taylor Swift concert-level ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Clowny, Frowny, and All-the-Leaves-Are-Browny Headlines NEXT-OF-QUINCEAÑERA Dia de los Muertos came early in Oklahoma City last week, as a shoot-out at a ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Slippery, Zippery, and Yom Kippury Headlines REDUN-DUNCE When it comes to humor, there’s commitment to a bit, and then there’s Tommy Cooper. Cooper was a ...


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