The Week’s Most Eclectic, Anorectic, and Apoplectic Headlines THE STUNNING AND BRAVE STATELY HOMOS OF TWITTER Back when The Simpsons was still relevant (and funny), there was ...

The Week’s Most Cloying, Annoying, and Soul-Destroying Headlines BEELZEBUB HONORS RBG If you were a fiction writer trying to come up with a name for a diabolically evil female ...

The Week’s Sassiest, Brassiest, and Gassiest Headlines ALYSSA “DEFUND THE POLICE” MILANO CALLS 911 ON SQUIRREL-SHOOTING DOMESTIC TERRORIST Formerly sexy actress Alyssa ...

The Week’s Most Glamorous, Clamorous, and Amorous Headlines SPORTS FANS BOO OPPOSING TEAM, WHITE SUPREMACY GETS BLAMED If there are two categories in which black people ...

The Week’s Creepiest, Weepiest, and Sleepiest Headlines NEW TREND: DISTRICT ATTORNEYS WHO HATE THE LAW If, like us, you’ve been wondering why poor retarded blacks and rich ...

The Week’s Most Lecherous, Treacherous, and Obstreperous Headlines PORTLAND MAYOR TO MOVE AWAY FROM PEACEFUL PROTESTORS WHO’VE BEEN TRYING TO SET HIS CONDO ON FIRE Ted ...

The Week’s Most Porcine, Unclean, and Obscene Headlines WHY WE SHOULD ALL KEEP MISPRONOUNCING “KAMALA” Joe Biden promised the nation that he would pick a colored woman as ...

The Week’s Most Incessant, Tumescent, and Adolescent Headlines FEDS NAB BANNON ON FRAUD CHARGES Apart from helping to forge a populist coalition that pushed Donald Trump toward ...

The Week’s Most Aggressive, Excessive, and Oppressive Headlines NONWHITE WORKERS AT CANADIAN ANTI-RACISM MUSEUM COMPLAIN OF RACISM Winnipeg is the largest city in the Canadian ...

The Week’s Maddest, Baddest, and Saddest Headlines ZIMBABWE PROMISES WHITE FARMERS COMPENSATION, THEN ASKS THEM TO RAISE THE FUNDS Zimbabwe—formerly the Breadbasket of Africa ...

The Week’s Most Narcissistic, Chauvinistic, and Unrealistic Headlines ROBIN DIANGELO’S FRAGILE IDEOLOGY Robin DiAngelo is a millionaire white woman who appears to be so ...

The Week’s Most Incurable, Unendurable, and Uninsurable Headlines BLACK RADIO HOST WITH ATROCIOUS SPELLING SKILLS SAYS JEWS “HAVE THE POWER” A New York radio host who was ...

When George Floyd died as a result of resisting arrest after passing a bad check and surviving COVID-19 with a heart condition and meth and fentanyl in his system, the world ...

Since New York has never shed a tear for the rest of the country, we shed no tears for New ...

Even though black women outlive white men in America, and even though the greatest threat to black people in America is other black people, a lot of dingbats in places both high ...

Then, when it became very clear that the real intent of the exemption was to expose black people to coronavirus and make them easier to identify in criminal lineups, the county ...