Bunky Mortimer III

Bunky Mortimer III

Bunky Mortimer III is the scion of an old East-Coast family, driven to Europe by disillusionment and an uncertain tax status. He is now propelled like a schizophrenic pinball between the British Isles and the Continent, advocating enthusiastically for Brexit and the repeal of FATCA. He has asked it to be known that he only writes the column under duress from a vicious codicil in his father's will making certain allowances dependent on him doing so.

Afternoon Delight

We’re All Communists Now

Jun 01 2018

Apparently, I’m not controversial enough. So get your teeth into this: Communism did some good. Not the starvation, massacres, and bad plumbing. Nor the chronically

Cultural Caviar

Un-weaving the Intellectual Dark Web

May 25 2018

You are not where you think you are, reading this: not at home, nor on your yacht, nor hiding from the law in some overripe


Sex and Sacrilege at the Met Ball

May 11 2018

Clothes are the carriage of the soul. Like the soul, they should be well-made and un-ostentatious. No one expressed this better than Beau Brummell when


A Right Royal Farce

May 04 2018

Another British royal wedding is hoving ineluctably into view. I was at the last one. The memory of that candyfloss patriotism still makes me puke.


William Donaldson

Yours Insincerely

Apr 27 2018

I am offended when people ask if I write under a pen name. The question seems to cast aspersions on a century of Mortimer family


Facebook? It’s the Government I Don’t Trust

Apr 20 2018

Hey, Zuckerberg? You reading this? Just a quick note to say you can have all the data you want. Fill your boots. Because nothing your

Cultural Caviar

(Not) Guilty as Charged

Apr 10 2018

And so to that rainy mecca of Western values, London. Or erstwhile mecca, I should say. The talk there is of the end of a


Bunky Mortimer’s Hangover Guide

Mar 29 2018

“Hangover cure”—like military intelligence—is an oxymoron. If hangovers could be cured, they wouldn’t exist. Maybe one day it will happen, and some penicillin of the


Colin Firth and Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones

Bunky Mortimer’s Guide to Problematic Cinema

Mar 12 2018

Word reached me that Friends—the anodyne ’90s “sitcom”—has riled the snowflakes. Its transgression is that it meets Stendhal’s definition of fiction: to be a mirror

Cultural Caviar

Lady Jane Erskine

Class Rejects: A Guide to the British Aristocracy

Mar 02 2018

Please accompany me along the career trajectory of my English friend Minty. She receives an expensive education at which she is careful not to excel.


Bunky Mortimer’s Guide to Classical Music

Feb 13 2018

Your musical day should start with works written closest to our own time, then work backward. The reason is simple. Nineteenth-century music is filled with

Cultural Caviar

Up in Smoke

Jan 30 2018

“I lighted a cigarette, and gave myself up to meditation.” Thus runs the most expressive quote from the entire canon of P.G. Wodehouse, who wisely

Cultural Caviar

Breakfast of Champions

Jan 17 2018

We live in an Ice Age of selective puritanism. You can bed who you like and cross-dress to your heart’s content, but God help you

Afternoon Delight

Bunky Mortimer’s Guide to Lifemanship

Jan 01 2018

Seeing you’ve read this far, I’d better let you in on my secret. It’s called Lifemanship. Like all the best things, it is nearly impossible

Afternoon Delight

The Once and Future Art of the Cigar

Dec 11 2017

My eponymous father always kept cigars. I remember when I first stole one. I had drained myself at the thought of the new Filipina maid—it


Dating a Radical Feminist

Dating a Radical Feminist

Nov 16 2017

It’s the one-liners I remember most. As a polyamorist who prided herself on sexual liberation, orgasming during sex was far too déclassé. “If I wanted