The Week’s Most Commie, Pommy, and Flowers-for-Mommy Headlines THE FUN-HOUSE MIRROR HAS TWO FACES You’ll get a bigger hand if you can stand on your head, Be a clown, be a clown, be a clown! A Cole Porter song is the new GOP handbook. And Republicans are having regrets. Last week GOP House ...
The Week’s Most Dozing, Posing, and Run-for-the-Rosing Headlines GOVERNMENT CHEESE DIPS Black-run cities love government giveaways. To a point. Free cheese? Check. Free beans? Not so much. Last week NYC mayor Eric Adams slammed Texas governor Greg Abbott for purposely targeting “black-run ...
The Week’s Most Gayish, Grayish, and May-Dayish Headlines FORTY ACRES FOR A FOOL William Darity, a Duke University “professor of economics,” declared last week that the U.S. should shell out $14 trillion for blacks as reparations for slavery. Darity, who’s black himself, believes this ...
The Week’s Most Bitter, Aglitter, and Eid al-Fitr Headlines REPARATION OUCH Attention, Walmart clobbers! Blue Ash, a Cincinnati suburb, became black-and-blue ashy after 37-year-old Karen Ivery soul-trained her way into a local Walmart and demanded $1,000 in free groceries as “reparations” ...
The Week’s Most Boxing, Outfoxing, and Easter-for-the-Orthodoxing Headlines LARDO CALORIESSIAN Celebrity fetishes are nothing new. Rousseau liked getting spanked (hence his “Discourse on the Arse and Sciences”), James Joyce sniffed farts (his masterwork was originally titled Pewlysses), and ...
The Week’s Most Begging, Bootlegging, and Easter-Egging Headlines HOSTAGE NEGROTIATOR Mark Taylor might be the ballsiest lawyer ever; dude’s trying to score cash by purposely antagonizing black folks. Last September, white-guy Taylor was appointed superintendent of Virginia’s Spotsylvania ...
The Week’s Most Ghoulish, Coolish, and April-Foolish Headlines CONSERVATIVE DING-A-LINGS Imagine a Ron DeSantis conference call with Florida conservatives... DeSantis: “You know how I’m out there every day fighting to keep our schools free of transgender propaganda and pornographic, ...
The Week’s Most Toxical, Paradoxical, and Equinoxical Headlines WAIL, WAIL, THE GANG’S ALL HERE Remember when America’s “backyard” mattered? When people were obsessed with nations like El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Panama? Well, who needs that anymore? Not with Ukraine being the new ...
The Week’s Most Blah, Nah, and Erin-go-Bragh Headlines OSCAR AIN’T GOLD; HE’S YELLA Americans might remember Judge Lance Ito from the O.J. Simpson criminal trial, but few recall that the judge in the O.J. civil trial was Asian too (Hiroshi Fujisaki). That both trials had Asian judges ...
The Week’s Most Arching, Starching, and Ides-of-Marching Headlines JEW-F.O. Between Tucker Carlson’s UFO obsession and the recent spate of “flying objects” shot down by the Biden administration, interest in space invaders is at its highest level since the time Jimmy Carter spotted a UFO in ...
