Primarily Speaking: Notes From L.A.

Congratulations, MAGA. You got your Biden/Trump rematch. Just so you know, us opinion journalists were hoping for a long, eventful primary...because we need material. As Eric Swalwell laments to his Chinese concubines, it wasn’t supposed to climax this quick. But climax it has, and only the fanatics are pleased. The “god-king Trump” MAGAs on one end, and the “Biden’s sharp as ever and he whipped inflation” delusionals on the other. This is gonna be one of those elections in which the average voter has to decide which turd’s baggage outweighs the other’s and which douche’s ...

Biden’s Three Paths to Victory

Democrats have three paths to victory next November, all being eagerly embraced by Republicans. PLAN A: Enrage Republicans by bringing a string of ludicrous indictments, civil ...

All I Want for Christmas is to Be Treated Like Nikki Haley

The media are trying to pick the GOP nominee for us just like they did with John McCain. (Remember how great that worked out?) Once again, their pick is the whiny warmonger -- ...

A Gift Horse, Gelded

Rampant crime is a major concern these days, but the GOP hasn’t profited from it. It’s puzzling why a topic that used to be a no-brainer for Republicans hasn’t yielded the ...

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

Dems Have Now Officially Rejected President John F. Kennedy’s Legacy

There's a political cartoon going around that shows John F. Kennedy and Robert F. Kennedy sitting on a couch watching a speech by Robert F. Kennedy Jr. The two hold their palms to ...

Nikki Haley

Revealed! Nikki Haley’s Husband and His Djibouti Call

Will Republicans ever rebel against the execrable primary debates foisted on us every four years? Vetting presidential candidates is one of our most important civic duties, but ...

Nikki Haley

Nikki Haley: Throw Out the Baby — Keep the Bathwater!

You'd think the one thing Republicans would have learned from the 2016 Trump campaign is that voters wanted something completely different from what the GOP had been ...

Karen Bass

GOP Jonahs Swallowed by Giant Bass

The threat to men’s lives had him in a rage. A leader such as that would command fanatic loyalty. He would be difficult to defeat. Against his own will and all previous ...

Beverly Hills, CA.

Meet the Foggers

This’ll be the final entry in my “Fog Trilogy”; totally different topic next week, I promise! Last week’s column was about how/why rightists “fog themselves.” This ...

We Need Immigration, Not Trump, At the Debate

Donald Trump, the least self-aware person in the country, at least seems to know that he's a terrible debater. He has the vocabulary of a kindergartener, strings words together in ...

Bad Choices

The betting odds say the next election will likely be a rematch between Joe Biden and Donald Trump. It's odd, since polls show most Americans don't like either man. There are ...

Exalted Failures Part II: Slow-Motion ‘Downfall’

This will conclude my apparent “Hitler Trilogy” (I say “apparent” because I didn’t plan it; it just kinda happened that way). I’ll lead off with a few observations ...

Ronald and Nancy Reagan, 1972

Debate Advice for Republicans: Issues, Not Oprah

As the first Republican debate approaches, I have an urgent appeal to the candidates: Please adopt the good things Donald Trump did and skip the catastrophic parts (i.e., ...

Republican Pledge: No More Talking About Trump

The media are so desperate for Republicans to nominate Donald Trump that they've turned over 96.7% of their programming to covering him, with brief interruptions for Emmett Till ...


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