More Urinating on the Taliban, Please

Being “the primary architect of hipsterdom” was fun when I was young, but now I’m a wizened old man who just wants to grab a cheap beer in peace. Unfortunately, ...

How Many Female Pandas Does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb?

I come bearing great tidings to the women of the world: You no longer have any problems. Genital mutilation has been wiped out, rape is a thing of the past, and the price of ...

Corey Feldman

Pedophiles in Tinseltown

Hollywood would not be Hollywood without recurring scandals. Tinseltown always struggles to remain relevant, and in light of the Penn State affair, she has once again managed to ...

Gloria Allred

Blame it on Cain

Herman Cain is under attack, so why aren’t the Hollyweirdos flocking to his aid? Why won’t Alec Baldwin stop pimping Capital One credit cards long enough to help a brotha out? ...

Sucking all the Fun out of Halloween

The Cultural Marxists are dressed as vampires this Halloween, baring their fangs and sucking the fun out of everything again. In their inimitably dictatorial and humor-free ...

Hank Williams Jr.

Hitler Didn’t Golf

The burly, bearded, bellicose, belching, beer-bellied, barrel-chested, leather-vested bard and balladeer known as Hank Williams Jr.—aka “Bocephus”—will no longer be ...

Katt Williams

Stand Up and Say You’re Sorry

Here’s how I know the West is doomed. Yeah, the replacement rate is under 2.1 and Chaz Bono is on Dancing With the Stars. But here’s the real reason: Comedians. I ...

Charlene and Albert of Monaco

Inappropriate Touching Among the Untouchables

We all know that the rich and powerful are seldom held accountable. Take, for example, the recent case of Albert II, the Prince of Monaco, and his new wife, Charlene Wittstock. ...

Won’t Get Schooled Again

In what’s being described as the most extensive case of test-tampering in US public-school history, Georgia Governor Nathan Deal dropped an 828-page bomb on the state last ...

Dominique Strauss-Kahn

Strauss-Kahn: From Accused Rapist to Headline Thief

They say no money was paid and no prisoners were exchanged. I’m not talking about Dominique Strauss-Kahn, but about the two French hostages released in Afghanistan while ...

Anthony Weiner

Why Weiner’s Going Under the Bus

Is there any redeeming social value to the tawdry tale of Anthony Weiner? Only this: The nationwide revulsion at the conduct of the congressman has compelled the leadership and ...

Low-Scoring Soccer Appeals to the Masses

Is the grindingly low scoring in the World Cup soccer tournament a bug or"€”as I"€™m finally starting to suspect"€”a feature? Could it be that the World Cup's global ...

Forget Ferdinand, England Has Another Secret Weapon

I always used to give a snort of derision every time I heard football being referred to—on TV and only when I had stumbled briefly upon the wrong channel—as "€˜The ...


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