10 Reasons Old Punks Make Great Dads

Punk rock is a great way to spend your adolescence, but is has some drawbacks when you"€™re an adult. For example, having a full back tattoo of a skull-head jellyfish eating Chiang Kai-shek and Fidel Castro enhances your stage presence when you’re screaming into a microphone about anarchy, ...

Woody Allen

Sacrificing Virgins to the Entertainment Gods

Raping a child can land you in prison for life"€”unless you"€™ve made some cool movies, in which case the penalty is a lifetime achievement award. In France, where they “Thank Heaven for Little Girls,” molesting a seven-year-old girl will make you a God. We love to mock the English ...

Three TV Villains That the Audience Turned Into Heroes

Last week The Washington Free Beacon discussed the New York Times’ tabloid-like obsession with Obama’s favorite TV shows. Where the Times slobbers with excitement over the “subtle” dramas the president likes such as Homeland, the Beacon‘s Matthew Continetti dismisses ...

2013: The Most Racist Year Ever

Experts agree that 2013 was the most racist year since the one that started the Civil War. Everywhere you looked someone or something was being racist, even asparagus. Most of these ten commercials were from 2013, and they were all racist, including the one made by a black guy. It’s racist to ...

John Cleese

10 Great Things About the Brits

A lot of things about Great Britain aren"€™t so great. Their bathrooms are freezing and if you want a shower, you have to turn on the hot water tank and wait twenty minutes. They have class stuck so far up their ass, they still define a man by his accent. They"€™ve allowed Islam to bully them ...

How to Fly in Comfort

About 44.3 million Americans are going to be flying this holiday season, which is a million more than last year. This is ironic because flying becomes about a million times worse every year. Here are ten ways to make it easier to hurl through the sky at 600 miles an hour and get there ten times ...

Teamwork Is Overrated

I recently did a TED Talk here in Brooklyn and the conference's theme was teamwork. The first thing I thought when assigned the task was, "€œI don"€™t want to be part of that."€ Teamwork is the bane of my existence. Almost every day I attend meetings with creative types where 50% of our time ...

Bob Dylan

Same Oppression, Different Name

It wasn"€™t so long ago when being black in America was a crime. Rich white men with fancy educations controlled the lives of virtually every minority in the country. If the white patriarchy decided you were in the way, they made a call and the next thing you knew, you were out of a job. They ...

12 Tips on Proper Bar Etiquette

In America, people do air travel like they"€™re going to a sleepover, bring kids to R-rated movies, and let their offspring run around restaurants like we"€™re all in the same living room. It's hard to know where to begin when imposing some decorum on Western culture, but I"€™m an alcoholic ...

The Breakers, Palm Beach

Stuck in the Past

I just flew back from Restoration Weekend in Palm Beach, and boy are my arms tired of the old narrative. I was on a panel with James O"€™Keefe and Sonnie Johnson called "€œChanging the Narrative,"€ and we all talked about how dangerous it is for the GOP to remain stuck in the past. The ...