Our Balls, Ourselves

Brothers, gents, countrymen, and assorted randy lads and bucks galloping like centaurs through fields of feminine flowers and wantonly squirting their seed the world over, I regret to inform you that the worm has turned on the world's sperm. Our gonads face a crisis of historic proportions. A ...

Trace Adkins

The Myth of Northern Innocence

Burly-and-bearded country singer Trace Adkins ruffled all the usual feathers and bruised all the usual feelings when he dared to wear a Confederate battle flag earpiece in full view of gasping national TV viewers while singing "€œThe Christmas Song"€ in the Yankee stronghold of Rockefeller ...

Happy to Be on the Wrong Side of History

As the leftist juggernaut blithely steamrollers its way over what's left of this country, its blinkered acolytes have smugly convinced themselves that they are on "€œthe right side of history"€ and that any dissenters are troglodytic throwbacks to a less moral and less enlightened era. They ...

The Men Who Taste Jews in Their Sandwiches

I woke up this morning with a bit of a chest cold and decided not to blame the Jews for it. Some mystical yearning deep inside my heart"€”I believe it's called "€œcommon sense"€"€”led me to surmise that I am probably not afflicted with the Jew Flu. It's not that I hold Jews blameless, ...

10 Good Reasons Not to Assassinate Obama

America has now elected its first half-black president to a second term, which, if you understand math, means that America has finally elected a fully black president to one term. A little more than half of America is gloating like drunken pigs on moonshine. A little less than half of America is ...

The Calm Between the Storms

Hurricane Sandy's floodwaters have ebbed and the American Northeast's ravaged infrastructure has begun stitching itself back together. Taki's Mag mainstay John Derbyshire finally emailed on Sunday from Long Island to notify us that although he still doesn"€™t have electricity, he finally has an ...

Can’t We All Just Get Post-Racial?

Four years ago, a starry-eyed, hopeful, and fatally credulous nation elected Barack Obama to the presidency based largely on some dimwitted notion that he would usher us into a glittering new "€œpost-racial"€ era where everyone got along, had group orgies, and joyously mixed their genes into a ...

Nation of Leeches

Just as 2011 was the year that no one would shut the hell up about the "€œ99%,"€ this year's election season has birthed another obnoxious quotient that refuses to die"€”the "€œ47%"€ of Americans that Mitt Romney reputedly mouth-raped at a fundraiser by claiming that they "€œare ...

Stacey Dash

The Blacklash Against Stacey Dash

Actress Stacey Dash, star of Clueless, is a black woman from The Bronx who says she voted for Obama in 2008. After she recently Tweeted that she planned to vote for Romney, American blacks and their clueless white enablers summarily revoked her blackness for perpetuity. Since her political ...

The Magical Hip-Hop Get Out of Jail Free Card

Barack Obama’s greatest talent is his ability to take unabashed lawbreakers or wannabe cop-killers and suddenly turn them into unapologetic cheerleaders for big government. And he’s apparently able to do this solely through the magical mystical powers of his skin color. The hip-hop ...