Low-Calorie Food Fight!

Sep 27 2012

Students at a Kansas high school are claiming that the government is trying to starve them to death. In the teeny-weeny Great Plains town of

Cultural Caviar

Wagging the Dirty Infidel Dog

Sep 14 2012

Dumb Middle Easterners are angrier than ever at the West today, and dumb Americans are angrier than ever at the Muslim world, and we"€™re not


An Overdose of Hope

Sep 08 2012

The Democrats are done weaving their web in Charlotte, and wow, what a web it was"€”an intricate lattice of multicolored Silly String that included everyone


A Zero-Watt Affair

Sep 01 2012

If the recently adjourned Republican National Convention was intended to cure insomnia, it was a thundering success. But if it was meant to light a


Satan, Thy Name is Paul Ryan

Aug 18 2012

Paul Ryan wants to hurt you. Oh, sure, he may seem nice, but that’s only a mask. In reality, this wonky honky is “a soulless

Afternoon Delight

Paul Krugman and Toomas Henrik Ilves

Estonia to Krugman: Y”€™all Needs to Chill

Jun 09 2012

The ex-Soviet satellite state of Estonia is home to slightly over a million people and is smaller than Vermont and New Hampshire combined. Yet in


In the Wake of Whitney’s Wake

Feb 25 2012

Admittedly it is déclassé to kick someone when they"€™re down and even more so when they"€™re dead. Yet with recent hagiographies of Whitney Houston by


Having Trouble Maintaining an Election?

Feb 19 2012

Ooh, that smell! Can"€™t you smell that smell? Pew! It's the latest report from the Pew Center on the States, and it concludes that America's


Nigeria: In Haram’s Way

Feb 11 2012

Most Americans wouldn’t know the difference between Boko Haram and Boca Raton, even though a Congressional report from November fingered the Nigerian jihadist group as

Cultural Caviar

Judging Police Brutality on a Tase-by-Tase Basis

Feb 04 2012

Dark decades of direct experience with human beings have given us reason to operate from an ecumenical distrust of human nature. Although perfectly natural, human


Occupy Home Plate

Jan 27 2012

Instead of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game,” Florida’s homeless population may soon be singing “Put Me Up at the Ballpark.” Florida Senate Bill


Stacking up Debt (and Bodies) in Illinois

Jan 21 2012

When G8 leaders convene in Chicago this May to discuss managing the global economy, they’ll be meeting in a city that has botched its own


Why, Oh Why is Iowa so Iowhite?

Jan 07 2012

On New Year’s Day, NBC honking head Andrea Mitchell tried making America hip to the Hawkeye State’s unforgivable lack of hipness: The rap on Iowa:


The Government v. Everyone

Dec 17 2011

Thursday marked 220 years since the Bill of Rights was signed. As tribute, the US government fed the Bill of Rights through a paper shredder.


A Boob Named Bibi

Dec 03 2011

After soul-shredding millennia of bloodshed and insane sectarian conflict, a small candle of hope finally flickers in the Middle East. That candle’s name is Binyamin

Church and State

Shear Terror: Mullets Fingered in Amish Beard Attacks

Nov 26 2011

About a hundred miles south of the smog-choked, rust-eaten city of Cleveland quietly sits pristine Ohio hill country, home to one of the nation’s largest

Cultural Caviar

The Great American Pill Party

Nov 19 2011

A report released Wednesday says that in 2010, one in five Americans took medication to relieve conditions broadly described as mental disorders. Such medications include

Cultural Caviar

Sore Losers & Sore Winners: Texas Nixes Rebel-Flag License Plates

Nov 12 2011

A hallelujah chorus of joyous whoops and hollers erupted from an audience described as “mostly African Americans” as the Texas DMV voted on Thursday to


Going Out in a Self-Inflicted Blaze of Glory

Nov 05 2011

If you’re going to do something as extreme, impetuous, and possibly ill-considered as setting yourself on fire, it would at least make sense to do

Cultural Caviar

This Ghastly Week

Oct 29 2011

The seven billion huddled residents of this shimmering, twinkling, spinning orb undoubtedly performed millions of kind acts and noble deeds over the past week. The

Afternoon Delight

Pope Benedict XVI

The Pope Goes Global

Oct 25 2011

On Monday the Vatican released a document with the unwieldy title “Towards Reforming the International Financial and Monetary Systems in the Context of a Global


¡No More Sex, We Want Road!

Oct 15 2011

The desperately blue-balled men in the remote jungle village of Barbacoas, Colombia, can breathe a collective sigh of relief—a 112-day “sex strike” that local women

Cultural Caviar

Chris Christie

Chris Christie: Too Fat to Fail?

Sep 30 2011

The sad, mopey bald eagle that is the American republic is perched an unlucky 13 months away from the 2012 presidential elections, and the Republican


Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Ahmadinejad: Good, Bad, and Ugly

Sep 24 2011

Thursday bore the ripely rotten fruit of a now-yearly autumnal Manhattan ritual—Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad spoke before the United Nations General Assembly, vilifying the West


French or Not French?

Sep 17 2011

The Frogs are at it again—the French Resistance has reemerged, this time in an iPhone version. A mélange of French anti-racist and pro-Jewish groups whipped

Hate Speech

The Stench of Civility

Sep 10 2011

In January when a smirking schizoid goony loon who claimed no political affiliation sprayed hot lead on an Arizona crowd—killing six and injuring fourteen—the barking