The Week’s Flukiest, Kookiest, and Spookiest Headlines AFRICAN-AMERICAN SNIPER NewsOne bills itself as “Breaking News for Black People.” It carries headline stories of national importance (“Black woman receives cold fries; a ...

The Week’s Most Snatching, Hatching, and Pumpkin-Patching Headlines IT’S THE GREAT PUNKIN’, GNARLY BROWN History has a habit of repeating itself, especially for those too stupid to learn from their mistakes. Like the GOP. The ...

The Week’s Most Ailing, Failing, and Columbus-Sailing Headlines RAM-COM Journalist Chloe Angyal of Marie Claire holds “a Ph.D. in media studies with a focus on romantic comedy.” What are the odds she’s really hoping for ...

The Week’s Most Supernova, Apache Cordova, and Shana Tova Headlines YO’ MAMA KIPPUR For Jews, these are the High Holy Days, the period of getting atoned between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. For blacks, these are the Wholly High ...

The Week’s Most Griefing, Debriefing, and Autumn-Leafing Headlines PRINCESS OF WHALES Nobody’s saying Rolling Stone film critic Katie Rife is fat, but her dress size is IMAX. Nobody’s saying she’s heavy, but any theater she ...

The Week’s Most Rancorous, Cankerous, and Cantankerous Headlines THE EMPEROR JONESTOWN If Corn Pop was a bad dude, wait till you meet Soda Pop. Get ready for carbonated bruthas. Black social media “influencer” Rashad Jamal ...

The Week’s Most Crooning, Spooning, and Harvest Mooning Headlines QUEEN BEE (GONE) R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth, who passed away at age 96 after ramming her car into a house at full speed while high on cocaine and fentanyl. CORRECTION: ...

The Week’s Most Staid, Unmade, and Labor Day’d Headlines ECCE HOMA You let one black cannibal killer go free, and folks never let you live it down. In 2021, Oklahoma governor Kevin Stitt commuted the sentence of cannibal-murderer ...

The Week’s Most Nixing, Transfixing, and Netflixing Headlines THE CASE OF THE NAPPY NAPKIN NAPPING For black women in Houston who need help with unmanageable hair, Erin Mims is the go-to girl for the ghet-to gal. As owner of Alluring ...

GSTAAD—As the great Yogi Berra explained, “It’s déjà vu all over again.” The great one also contributed the following wisdom: “You can observe a lot by watching.” Yogi came to mind as high inflation and a recession loom, ...

The Week’s Most Slicken, Wiccan, and Drought-Stricken Headlines SALMAN FILLET Ayatollah Khomeini wore many turbans. Brutal dictator and architect of Iran’s Islamic revolution, merciless hard-line religious cleric, and six-time ...

The Week’s Most Guessing, Confessing, and Stop-the-Pressing Headlines THE CHUNG POISONER’S HANDBOOK Say Yu, say me Say it for always That bitch poisoned my tea! Tiger mom, meet lye-ger wife. She’s a whiz with caustic chemicals ...