The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Cheering, Jeering, and Happy New Yearing Headlines SLAP UNHAPPY Poor Will Smith, doomed to a career bookended by plaintively wailing, “How come they don’t ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Snowing, Glowing, and Ho-Ho-Ho-ing Headlines THE TRAGICALLY HIPPO Christmas carols in Africa have their own unique flavor: I want a hippopotamus for ...

Prince Heinrich Reuss

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Tingling, Mingling, and Kris Kringling Headlines DODDER KNOWS BEST Wearing his finest Christmas sweater, Joe Biden sits in his comfy recliner by a roaring ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Hopping, Bopping, and Christmas-Shopping Headlines REFRIED BEAN There’s a reason Mexicans do the drywall and not the electrics. The Miss Sahuayo Pageant in ...

Benjamin Netanyahu

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Grandstanding, Rebranding, and Winter Wonderlanding Headlines DEAF COMEDY JAM Blackface, meet blackhand. Last month, the sign-language interpreter for ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Remembered, Dismembered, and Decembered Headlines WOE-PENING CEREMONIES A dictatorship where slavery is commonplace, homosexuality is illegal, and women are ...

Dave Chapelle

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Romping, Stomping, and Turkey-Chomping Headlines UNKINDERTRANSPORT Not since the Holocaust or the Seinfeld finale have Jews had such a bad week. First, there ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Perming, Squirming, and Midterming Headlines GUNFIGHT AT THE O.G. CORRAL In The Little Mermaid, Hans Christian Andersen described Ariel as “white,” with ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Glowering, Empowering, and Gain-an-Houring Headlines COUNTING (JIM) CROWS Orwell was a genius. Prescient, prophetic, a visionary. Well, in everything but title ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Randying, Bandying, and Halloween Candying Headlines HAPPY HITLERWEEN! With Halloween parties and trick-or-treating back in full-swing post-pandemic, the woke ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Flukiest, Kookiest, and Spookiest Headlines AFRICAN-AMERICAN SNIPER NewsOne bills itself as “Breaking News for Black People.” It carries headline stories of ...

Jimmy McMillan

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Snatching, Hatching, and Pumpkin-Patching Headlines IT’S THE GREAT PUNKIN’, GNARLY BROWN History has a habit of repeating itself, especially for those too ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Ailing, Failing, and Columbus-Sailing Headlines RAM-COM Journalist Chloe Angyal of Marie Claire holds “a Ph.D. in media studies with a focus on romantic ...

Flag of Colorado

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Supernova, Apache Cordova, and Shana Tova Headlines YO’ MAMA KIPPUR For Jews, these are the High Holy Days, the period of getting atoned between Rosh Hashanah ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Griefing, Debriefing, and Autumn-Leafing Headlines PRINCESS OF WHALES Nobody’s saying Rolling Stone film critic Katie Rife is fat, but her dress size is IMAX. ...

BYD

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Rancorous, Cankerous, and Cantankerous Headlines THE EMPEROR JONESTOWN If Corn Pop was a bad dude, wait till you meet Soda Pop. Get ready for carbonated ...


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