Bleak Options

The current preliminaries to the forthcoming American election are both appalling and fascinating (the appalling usually fascinates in a way that the meritorious seldom does). The contest seems to be boiling down to which of the two candidates’ mental gaffes is the more disqualifying for the position he seeks. It is by now well-known that a majority of Americans want neither candidate, and it is the commonest of commonplaces to say that it is an indictment of American democracy, the political system, or at least of something or other, even if one cannot quite work out what it is, that in a ...

Broken Codes of Conduct

The desire for perfection in human relations is a powerful stimulant of conflict—and of a bureaucracy to adjudicate it. That all should be fair, open, aboveboard, that no one ...

Hamas House of Horrors: Hunting Jewish Vampires

On 20 October, just in time for Halloween, pumpkin-headed Swedish Greentard Greta Thunberg accidentally sparked a vampire hunt. Doing her best to dispel the stereotype of climate ...

The Hard Stuff

I’m gonna start by talking about the porn girl I lived with, then segue into the actors’ strike and end on politics. Yep, ol’ Dave will deftly manipulate three balls at ...

A Matter of Speaking

I am writing this dispatch from the birthplace of “oracy,” the art of public speaking first perfected by the Athenian Demosthenes, a speaker so eloquent and influential he ...

The Lie of the Beholder

A female British IT worker recently sued her boss for sexual harassment in the workplace. According to her, the fact that her employer had placed the letters “xx” in his ...

From Bad to Verse

Are all modern-day popular poems really secretly written by Oprah Winfrey? It may well be so. Amanda Gorman, the unbearable young black American “poet” catapulted to ...

Moloch the God

Never Mind the Molochs: Here’s the Sex-Changers!

In 2019 Christian satire site The Babylon Bee ran a story, “Moloch Announces Forcing Your Kids To Become Transgender Is Acceptable Form Of Sacrifice.” Here, the bloodthirsty, ...

Why Are the Loudest “Victims” of Trans Genocide Still Alive?

As Annual Excessive Gay Pride Month continues, it is important we all pause for a moment and remember the ongoing trans genocide—and even more important we remember no such ...

Pessimistic River

Call it prescience...or bad timing. The moment I finished last week’s column, Pew released a poll proving my point about the difference between 1970s urban blight and that of ...

Shirkling the Drain

“Circling the drain.” It’s a phrase I first heard in a non-plumbing context when a doctor said it in reference to my elderly father’s condition. It basically means dying, ...

Rightists Drown in Steve Bannon’s Flood

Actor Michael Landon, born Oygenglayben Schmuelowitz (memo to self: Confirm that before press time), was the handsome star of Bonanza and Little House on the Prairie (I just lost ...

Black & White TV

When I was a child, there was a persistent playground rumor that the letters “BMW” in the German car manufacturer’s brand name secretly stood for “Black Man’s Willy,” ...

Overton Window to the Soul

One of the frustrations of writing a weekly column is that sometimes you wrap a piece, post it, and that very day the Special Olympians of public discourse provide fodder you wish ...


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