The Aphrodisiac Spark

There is an Austrian legend that deals with a man who, according to his daily custom, goes to the Neugröschl restaurant in Vienna and has a goulash lunch. As soon as he returns home he goes to bed twice with his wife and thrice with his sister-in-law, rapes the maid, and is arrested just before attempting against his daughter. The case is so ...


The Twin Poles of Existence

Life is a struggle, or at least a pendulum swing, between complacency and panic. No doubt most of us are more inclined by temperament to one than to the other, and it is a moot point as to which, when unjustified or inappropriate, does ...

10 Reasons Old Punks Make Great Dads

Punk rock is a great way to spend your adolescence, but is has some drawbacks when you"€™re an adult. For example, having a full back tattoo of a skull-head jellyfish eating Chiang Kai-shek and Fidel Castro enhances your stage ...

Hunting the Domestic Polar Bear

Why has the American media suddenly snapped out of a self-induced coma to pay attention to the Knockout Game? Gullible journos are acting as if it’s a spanking-new phenomenon that is sweeping the country, but the practice of black ...

Hummingbird

10 Birds That Act Like Dicks

At first glance, birds look like wonderful creatures who could do no wrong. It turns out that some of them are total jerks who bully the native species out of their nests. The multiculturalists tell me all cultures are equally ...

Joseph Goebbels

Dear Barack Obama (A Letter From Joseph Goebbels)

I realize receiving a letter from a time traveler can be confusing, and you may believe this is some kind of a prank. To verify my time-traveling skills, I have enclosed within this envelope a tuft of white hair from a man of African ...

Parting With PETA

The environmental movement is predominantly liberal, which means its thought process works backward. They start at the end with a wishful thought"€”"€œDon"€™t make this animal sad"€"€”then promptly moonwalk off a cliff. In ...

The Vegetarian Personality

I have trouble accepting the idea that Hitler was a vegetarian. He just didn"€™t seem that pushy. Apparently others feel the same way. When I started typing “pushy vegetarians” on Google, it auto-filled the rest after ...

Punk Rockers Make Good Conservatives

I grew up playing in hardcore punk bands and fighting skinheads, and the political mantra for that scene was "€œAnarchy and Peace."€ It seems incredibly naïve in retrospect, but being into punk rock was actually great training ...

A Nation Arms Itself—For What?

With the shooting death of Trayvon Martin by a neighborhood watch volunteer who was legally carrying a 9-millimeter handgun, the familiar wail has arisen from our cultural and media elite: America has too many guns! "€œOpen ...


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