Kanye West

Uncle Tom Goes to Washington

Kanye West made a lot of black people unhappy last week, and for that he deserves a cookie. In a modern remake of 1970’s infamous Elvis/Nixon summit, the shamelessly hyperactive hip-hop mogul visited Donald Trump in the Oval Office wearing a MAGA hat and delivered a breathlessly incoherent ...

Hoaxing the Pseudo-Academic Nitwits

The best thing about being a modern academic is that you don’t have to know anything or prove anything—you simply need to have the right political opinions. This makes it hilariously easy to hoodwink modern academics by regurgitating their postmodern gobbledygook right back in their maws in ...

Brett Kavanaugh circa 1980

Brett Kavanaugh Is a White Man

In case you’ve been vacationing on Pluto and were unaware, Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh is being accused of tryin’ ta sorta do somethin’-somethin’ to a woman in the early 1980s when he was 17 and she was 15. Did he do it? Don’t know. Wasn’t there. Personally, I have no ...

What the Bible Really Says About Homos

Claiming that homosexuality and Christianity are incompatible, Rev. Paul Kalchik—a Catholic priest from Chicago’s North Side with blazing blue eyes, eager lips, and a warm, winning smile—recently burned an LGBTQ rainbow flag in the schoolyard next to his church. Along with seven ...

Dalai Lama

The Dalai Lama Is Literally Hitler

Wouldn’t it suck to find out that one of your lifelong heroes such as, say, Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Klansman? What if it turned out that Fred “Mister” Rogers was a Satanist who ritually murdered 13 children? Well, that’s exactly how I felt last week to learn that the Dalai Lama—that ...

Jair Bolsonaro

What Doesn’t Stab You to Death Only Makes You Stronger

Last Thursday in the southeastern Brazilian city of Juiz de Fora, Jair Bolsonaro—variously described as “the most misogynistic, hateful elected official in the democratic world” and maybe even “the world’s most repulsive politician”—was nearly stabbed to death while crowd-surfing ...

Generational Astrology for Dummies

As someone who was born at the tail end of the “Baby Boom” (1946-1964), I can say with good faith that I never voted to drive up the deficit, to flood the country with illegals, to outsource the good jobs overseas, or to encourage the current climate of rabid anti-white hatred. I never had the ...

Asia Argento

The Tart Is Deceitful Above All Things

Just as there’s a tremendous difference between acting ethically and feeling the need to announce to the world that you’re an ethical person, there is also a massive distinction between being raped and feeling the need to tell the world that you were raped. I stopped watching Hollywood ...

Let’s All Tell More “White People” Jokes!

What’s the deal with white people? [the almost entirely white audience laughs] I mean, right—like, what the hell? [more laughter] Like, I mean, we’ve told nothing BUT “white people” jokes for the past two generations while we’ve socially lynched anyone who tells jokes about all ...

Alex Jones

Big Tech Swings the Hate Hammer Again

“There’s a war on for your mind,” Alex Jones has insisted for years. If that’s true, several more shots were fired last week, many of them aimed squarely at Jones. Within hours of each other last Sunday, tech monsters Apple, YouTube, Spotify, and Facebook banned nearly all content from ...