AUSTIN—Pretty soon now, I’m counting on it, somebody is gonna fly to Fiji, rent a bamboo villa that sits on stilts over the lapping waves hitting the pristine seashore, order a fruity drink in a coconut shell, stretch out on a veranda that juts ...
OKLAHOMA CITY—Maybe I’m naive about this, but I have to assume that anyone who gets elected to a state legislature, whether you’re in California or Alabama or Rhode Island, has been exposed at some point in his life to a civics class. At my ...
TULSA, Okla.—I’ve been flipping through a website called Exposing Celeb Surgery. The goal of the publisher seems to be: humiliation. Here you have various models, actresses, influencers, YouTube personalities, Patreon performers—99 percent of ...
TAMPA—I dressed up as the Joker on Halloween and absolutely no one was scared. I didn't get kicked out of public places. I wasn’t suspected of being a serial killer on my way to a murder spree. Nobody mistook me for a revolutionary trying to ...
ORLANDO—They’re calling it the Getty Fire, because it started up by Mulholland Drive just north of the Getty Museum, which sits on a precipice overlooking the San Diego Freeway, better known as the Four-Oh-Five. It instantly engulfed 600 acres ...
CLEVELAND—Investigation Discovery, the true-crime documentary channel, is running a promo for a new show hosted by a former federal prosecutor, Sunny Hostin, called Truth About Murder, and it has all the usual clichéd cuts and fades spotlighting ...
PHOENIXVILLE, Pa.—Let’s look on the bright side of the new 20-hour nonstop flight between New York and Sydney. Personally I don’t expect to ever be that desperate to get to Sydney. I’m more likely to fly to El Lay, stay a few days, continue ...
LOS ANGELES—It was David Lee Roth who ruined personal-appearance contracts for all time with his Brown M&M’s Clause in the ’80s. The story sounds apocryphal but it’s true: Any promoter hiring Van Halen for a concert was required to ...
DALLAS—So yesterday there was a headline in my newsfeed: SCIENTISTS CURE COMMON COLD It was the 85th link in my newsfeed, so I assumed it was some kind of advertising come-on for cold medications. It was actually an article by the Beauty and ...
NEW YORK—I don’t mind it when you lie to me with marketing terms or puff me up with overblown predictions—I’m in show business, that’s what we do—but stop using these words that are designed to disguise what you’re really doing to ...
GETTYSBURG, Pa.—So I was planning to write a cute little feature article about the guys in Silicon Valley warning us that the sex dolls of the future are programmed to hug you and so there’s a danger of the code getting scrambled and they crack ...
RALEIGH, N.C.—The stand-up comedy stage is the last place where you can speak without a filter. Or at least I always thought so. People are bringing tape recorders into workout clubs to make sure comics don’t “cross over the line.” That ...
