Sacha Baron Cohen

The Week That Perished

Even though she apparently lacks even a droplet of charisma, Miz Ara was slated to give a speech about, oh, vaginas and art or something at Oxford Brookes University until some perpetually aggrieved casualty of gender dysphoria caught wind of the fact that Ara might as well be Hitler for embracing ...

Joe Biden

The Week That Perished

They must be making some Grade-A meth up there in South Dakota these ...

The Week That Perished

A new promotional video by the state’s security agency depicts atheism, homosexuality, and feminism as “extremist ideas” that deserve derision, scorn, shunning, humiliation, torture, and, what the hell, ...

The Week That Perished

Is this the dawn of a murderous turf war between Mexican drug cartels and polyamorous heretic Mormons? Grab the ...

Michelle Obama

The Week That Perished

Nineteen million dollars is quite a pretty penny for being called a fag. Hell, for a mere thousand semolians, we’ll do the best Rip Taylor impression you’ve ever ...

Pope Francis

The Week That Perished

These people aren’t going to stop until something bad happens, are ...

Chelsea Clinton

The Week That Perished

If you live in Canada, you have our ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Swankest, Rankest, and Blankest Headlines IT’S OFFICIAL: THE CHINKS RULE AMERICA The NBA is composed of about 450 extremely tall men, most of them black—not that this matters, unless you’re some sort of a racist. Since the average NBA player is 6’7”, if you stacked them all ...

Bernie Sanders

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Sleaziest, Cheesiest, and Queasiest Headlines BERNIE SANDERS FINALLY BLOWS A GASKET It has long been an established fact that not only is Bernie Sanders the angriest man in politics—he may be the angriest man who ever lived. For all the jibber-jabber you hear about how Donald Trump ...

The Week That Perished

The Week’s Most Shocking, Rocking, and Cock-Blocking Headlines BLACK-POWER-FIST-RAISING OLYMPIC ATHLETES FINALLY ADMITTED INTO HALL OF FAME One of the most iconic—don’t you hate that word?—Olympics images in history is that of two black American runners named Tommie Smith and John Carlos ...