Bunky Mortimer

Bunky Mortimer

Bunky Mortimer is related to one of the grandest Anglo-Saxon Protestant families in the United States. He is sort of a black sheep in the family, but has chosen to write the truth rather than toe the line. He has been married three times, and is a recovering alcoholic.

Cultural Caviar

Attersee, Austria

Who Needs Freedom?

Aug 05 2019

A trip through Europe has convinced me that freedom is overrated. Sure, Americans won a revolution and fought two world wars for our precious freedom.


Route 27

The Shinnecock Erection

Jul 01 2019

The Indians are getting uppity, at least in Southampton. After a couple centuries of relative peace, the Shinnecock tribe has erected a six-story electronic billboard

Cultural Caviar

Meghan Markle

Meghan Markle: CIA Asset?

Jun 17 2019

Meghan Markle is doing such a good job at destroying the monarchy, she could be a foreign agent. The idea seems far-fetched, that the CIA

Cultural Caviar

Sunshine State Exodus

Jun 10 2019

Donald Trump and Rudy Giuliani—two brash New Yorkers as New York as New York can get—are planning to become residents of Florida. The president and

Cultural Caviar

Work’s for Jerks

Jun 03 2019

I’ve never done an honest day’s work in my long and useless life, so it is acutely annoying when people brag about the horrible jobs

Cultural Caviar

Oleg Cassini

Wicked Widow

May 27 2019

How much money is enough? Would $30 million suffice for an old woman with no children? I ponder these questions as I try to understand

Cultural Caviar

Guess Which Country

May 20 2019

It is dangerous to stereotype nationalities without seeming to be an imperialist pig. However, some international news stories require no dateline for one to know

Cultural Caviar

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, 2016

Carpet Bomb

May 13 2019

Pat Buckley would be spinning in her grave if she knew what has happened to the Met Gala she used to cohost with Blaine Trump.

Cultural Caviar

Michael Cohen

Rat Tales

May 06 2019

Nobody likes a rat. No one outside of his immediate family will be sad to see Michael Cohen go to prison on Monday, May 6,

Cultural Caviar

Manhattan Bridge

Le Dîner de Cons

Apr 29 2019

There are reasons I don’t like to venture from the Upper East Side. I was reminded of several at a dinner party in Brooklyn where

Cultural Caviar

Skull and Bones Bonesmen

Remembrance of Yale’s Past

May 31 2011

We love Yale sluts! “No” means “yes,” and “yes” means “anal”—that’s the beastly braying cry at Yale these days. The frat boys from Delta Kappa


The Gourmand by Louis Léopold Boilly

Authors and Gluttons: Bunky’s Guide to Eating

Apr 08 2011

I just happened to lay my hands on a recent copy of The New York Times"€™ "€œDining & Wine"€ section that a friend left hanging

Cultural Caviar

Christina Aguilera

Oh, Say, Can”€™t You Stop?

Feb 10 2011

Aren"€™t you fed-up with goofy renditions of our national anthem? I refer to the dreadful Miss Aguilera's butchering of "€œOh, say can you see...?"€ at

Cultural Caviar

In the Navy!”€”With Gobs of Seamen!

Jan 13 2011

Guess what"€”many gays aren"€™t offended at all by the scandalous USS Enterprise video.  On the contrary, one LGBT website ("€œThe Site with Homosexual Tendencies"€) has

Cultural Caviar

The Thong Remains the Shame

Dec 15 2010

Semper ubi sub ubi. "€”Juvenal When Dorothy Parker said, "€œBrevity is the soul of lingerie,"€ I don"€™t think she anticipated to what extent the modern

Cultural Caviar

Le Jour de Merci Donnant

Nov 24 2010

In the 1960s a kind of sport for us Yanks in Paris was making light of our cheese-eating, surrender-monkey hosts. Dr. Reginald Kernan led the

Cultural Caviar

Bunky Mortimer’s Upper Class Guide to Drinking, Part II

Nov 17 2010

Now, class, you will remember in this symposium's first installment that we dealt with the dry martini, the pink gin, and the bullshot, the proper

Cultural Caviar

Bunky Mortimer’s Upper Class Guide to Drinking

Nov 09 2010

Yes, I"€™m a recovering alcoholic and haven"€™t touched a drop in some time, but whom would you choose to give advice on boozing"€”a water-drinker? Let

Cultural Caviar

Hocking Loogies

Nov 02 2010

One of the unintended consequences and, for me, an unanticipated pleasure of the Fox/Cablevision dispute and blackout has been once again listening to baseball on

Cultural Caviar

Black Tie for Dummies

Oct 26 2010

You know what gets me hot under my Brooks Brothers collar? It's the goofballs who go off the rails into fantasy-land when it comes to

Cultural Caviar

Semper Fi

Oct 18 2010

For about an hour I watched the Columbus Day Parade from the rise of Lenox Hill at 71st Street, just north of the Frick mansion

Cultural Caviar

Ivana Lowell Bites the Silver Spoon That Feeds Her

Oct 14 2010

Guinness heiress Ivana Lowell has released her memoir, Why Not Say What Happened? I"€™ll tell you why: It's a bore. A rich and privileged kid's


Keeping Standards High in Clubland

Oct 06 2010

"€œIn the Bengal Club at Calcutta they don"€™t allow dogs or Indians, but in the Yacht Club at Bombay, they don"€™t mind dogs; it's only


American Boarding Schools: No Boot Camp For Boys

Sep 28 2010

As the herds of wildebeest migrate in October and November, when the short rains come, from the grasslands of the Masai Mara to the breeding

Cultural Caviar

Bunky Mortimer’s London Season Diary

Bunky Mortimer’s London Season Diary

Jun 24 2010

We WASPS have a long tradition with the London "€œSeason."€ The Chelsea Flower Show, Royal Ascot, Wimbledon, Henley, Glorious Goodwood in mid-summer, it's very old

Vile Bodies

Queen Elizabeth Makes a Rare Appearance for King Constantine

Queen Elizabeth Makes a Rare Appearance for King Constantine

Jun 07 2010

Well, that was an easy one. King Constantine of the Hellenes—that's the Greeks, for any of you who never got past fourth grade—celebrated his 70th