10 Real Resolutions for White Guys

MTV News just released a remarkably patronizing New Year's guide entitled "€œ2017 Resolutions for White Guys,"€ and boy, are us white guys angry. It's a video with white beta ...

If We Lose

What if Hillary wins? We don"€™t have to think about what to do if we win. If we win, we will wear Hawaiian shirts every day and carry around our own personal beer stein that ...

Adding Insult Without Injury

If Mr. Trump had been caught on video talking about early Sienese painting I should have been genuinely shocked and surprised. As it was, could anyone really have been shocked or ...

10 Steps to Phone Freedom

I was at the park with my daughter the other day and we started counting the people who were walking past while looking at their phones. The numbers skewed high because it was ...

Take Byrd Down

I came up with a great way to beat the Democrats at their own game. I decided to start a petition to change the name of the Robert C. Byrd Courthouse in Beckley, West Virginia. ...

Reflipping the Script

Unless you were living under a rock last week (or unless you have, you know, a life), you surely heard about Donald Trump's whirlwind anti-illegal-immigration campaign stop in ...

Revenge of the Goths

The original Goths"€”those rude, hairy, smelly, bloodthirsty, rampaging barbarians who crushed the Roman Empire"€”would by any reasonable definition of the term be properly ...

Moneyball for Medicine, Anyone?

Like many nerdy white guys of my generation, I"€™ve found the life story of Bill James inspiring ever since I began reading his Baseball Abstracts thirty years ago this month. A ...

10 Black Things Liberals Just Don”€™t Understand

Liberals love blacks but they love them like a fantasy football team, not like human beings. Black poverty is the crux of the leftist argument. The ethos goes: if you"€™re a ...

10 Ways to Tell You”€™re an Alcoholic

The Lord provides many clear signs that you have become a severe alcoholic. If you have to duct tape adult diapers on at night, you might be an alcoholic. If you wake up covered ...

An Idiot’s Guide to the Right

Okay, first of all, stop saying "€œFaux News Lies."€ That's redundant. Either call it Faux News and we"€™re done, or say "€œFox News Lies."€ Also, what is a ...

You Believe What You Want to Believe

I was walking through the Fox News building a while ago and a producer introduced me to a young black man by saying, "€œThis is the engineer you"€™ll be working with ...

How to Be Fired

So, it looks like I may have been fired from my own company, again. This time it was for not embracing (click "€œcontinue"€) the idea of turning your genitals inside out. ...

10 Great Things About the Burqa

Islam is poppin"€™ off. We"€™re told it's the fastest growing religion in the world and they also say it's the fastest growing religion in America. We all know diversity is ...

A Man’s Place and a Woman’s Role

In New York and LA, tradition is for squares. Unfortunately, these rebels rarely come up with anything better. If you want to reinvent the wheel and design a whole new way to live ...

15 Myths Millennials Accept as Fact

Last week an everyday group of anti-gun nuts called Everytown published data that claimed there have been 74 school shootings since Sandy Hook. Most of us went, "€œNo there ...


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