I Guess I”€™m an Angry White Man

JUPITER, Fla."€”The plastic remote on my Sunbeam Electric Heated Fleece Blanket went haywire last night and made me oversleep, so I spent the day in my spaghetti-strap T-shirt and my favorite pair of wind pants from the ...

High Enough to Die

Ideally, a recreational drug shouldn"€™t make your flesh fall off your bones. Nor should it cause you to overheat and drop dead onto the dance floor. But we don"€™t live in a perfect world, now, do we? Having come of ...

The West Is History

Christopher Nolan’s Dunkirk is killing it at the box office and will likely gross over $200M. It’s a horrible movie that is stressful to watch and never seems to end. The timeline switches back and forth, leaving the ...

The Liberal Creationists

As the topic of race continues to pop up in the news now and then, what with the Los Angeles Clippers imbroglio and whatnot, it's worth reconsidering the conventional wisdom on the subject, which has congealed into: ...

I Hate the Comments Here

I"€™ve been writing for this site since 2008 and am very thankful to be a part of the Takimag family. It didn"€™t even occur to me to jump ship when the Derb was lynched and outside of my loyalty to the bravest old ...

Anarchy in the U.S.A.

The latest Muslim massacre has driven the mainstream media absolutely berserk with fear and loathing...but not, though, of the Muslim terrorist who murdered 49 Latino gays in Florida. Instead, the bad guy is Donald Trump ...

Black Clouds Over the Rainbow

In case you weren"€™t aware because you"€™re some kind of bigoted and closeted asshole, this is Pride Month. Across our rainbow-colored planet, men who enjoy shoving other men's penises in their anuses strut on city ...

Dark Side of the Moon, Pink Floyd

White Privilege vs. White Death

Nobel-winning economist Angus Deaton and his wife, Anne Case, have released a new study, "€œMortality and Morbidity in the 21st Century,"€ enumerating how many unprivileged whites have died from despair while ...

Pink Slip, Black Rage

Antwann Brown may have a rap sheet going back 25 years...he may have a record that includes busts for drug dealing, dealing near a school, grand theft, and domestic battery. But last Wednesday morning, as he hitched a ride ...

Exiled to Racistville

Late one night last week, radio host Anthony Cumia nearly became the Bernie Goetz of shock jocks. But unlike Goetz, he didn’t use his gun, even though he says he was carrying one when he was assaulted. Instead, he ...

Shulamith Firestone

Feminism’s Rotting Corpse

I was certain I still had my copy of the book on the same shelf as my long-untouched copies of The Second Sex, The Female Eunuch, and The Feminine Mystique. After learning of the death last week of Shulamith Firestone, ...

Farting on Black People

I’ve often thought of Black History Month as a Valentine’s Day gift to those of us who are single. With the annual media barrage of images of black suffering past and present, Black History Month is a reminder to the ...

10 Ways to Tell You”€™re an Alcoholic

The Lord provides many clear signs that you have become a severe alcoholic. If you have to duct tape adult diapers on at night, you might be an alcoholic. If you wake up covered in blood with a giant hole in your knuckle ...

The Hunt for a Good Bad Guy

There is a severe rape drought going on in the West; not the violent sexual assault as is broadly defined by the law but a particular kind of rape. We want wealthy white males with blond hair high-fiving each other as they ...

Cracked Gets Whacked

"€œWho the hell is David Wong?"€ I asked that at my blog back in September 2007. I"€™d just read a pretty impressive essay called "€œ7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable."€ Well observed and wise ...

Ann Coulter

¡Adios, Ann Coulter!

Ann Coulter is a withered old hag who uses shock value to sell books. Look at her face. What is she, 40? And her hair? Come on. Are we supposed to take this "€œwoman"€ seriously? Her latest incarnation of Mein Kampf ...

The Progressive Glossary

I’ve recently been made aware of a strange new tribe who refer to themselves collectively"€”they do everything collectively"€”as “progressives.” I think they used to call themselves ...

A Man’s Place and a Woman’s Role

In New York and LA, tradition is for squares. Unfortunately, these rebels rarely come up with anything better. If you want to reinvent the wheel and design a whole new way to live an adult life, go bananas. Nobody gives a ...

Dinesh D’souza’s America

Dinesh D'souza is a funny little man who is actually of normal height but looks so unthreatening, you can"€™t help but think what a cute kid he must have been. You"€™d be forgiven for assuming he was asexual until you ...

10 Good Reasons Not to Assassinate Obama

America has now elected its first half-black president to a second term, which, if you understand math, means that America has finally elected a fully black president to one term. A little more than half of America is ...

Debbie Harry

A Dozen Unlikely Assholes

The biggest misconception about so-called "€œassholes"€ is that they"€™re total assholes. I know a lot of them and though they don"€™t suffer fools gladly, they will defend to the death your right to be foolish. ...

A No-Jerk Reaction

Millennials aren"€™t getting laid and what's worse, they don"€™t want to. Even the ones in relationships aren"€™t having sex. Their parents are having more sex than they are and their parents are gross. On my show, I ...

The Anti-Women March on Washington

If you"€™re baffled by a women's march that excluded thousands of women and was run by an extremist Muslim, well then you “literally just can"€™t even,” which is basically, like, WHATEVER! This was not a ...

Mencius Moldbug aka Curtis Yarvin

Overreacting to Neoreaction

Mainstream liberal blogs have recently discovered the neoreactionary movement, also known as the Dark Enlightenment, which is a plucky collection of backward-looking upstarts that started to gel sometime in late 2012. The ...


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