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Gender Psychosis

I was born in 1961, so I know the stark differences between the old taboos and the new ones. And having watched the changes occur in slow motion, I realize that new taboos often sprout into existence as a form of revenge against the crumbling elites who dictated the old taboos. And I distinctly ...

Ahmaud Arbery

The Lynching of a Black Jogger

Armed Black Panthers are now prowling the neighborhood where Ahmaud Arbery was fatally gunned down on February 23rd, and an American public that is already stir-crazy from months of being locked down finds itself on the cusp of yet “another massive national convulsion over race.” Based merely ...

A Plague of Know-it-Alls

When it comes to this whole COVID-19 hall of mirrors and how we possibly find our way out if this creepy carnival exhibit we’re trapped inside hoping it’s not really a cheesy horror movie made flesh, it seems that everyone has an answer except me. The problem is, hardly any of you idiots ...

Ellen DeGeneres

America’s Lesbian Sweetheart

Ellen DeGeneres was born with this face, and that’s the plain truth. If you think there’s any more nuanced or complicated reason beyond that for why she “became” a lesbian, I strongly beg to differ. She was “born that way” only in the sense that she was born with a bird’s face rather ...

The Evil Vampires of Malawi

The vampires are back in Malawi again, but no one is taking it seriously. Here, in one of the world’s poorest nations, where the nominal GDP is only $1 a day, one in ten adults has HIV, and life expectancy is only 50, the vampires are back sucking the blood of poor villagers. What’s worse, ...

Blaming God for Coronavirus

At a time when it can safely be said that no one on Earth is certain exactly what is happening with this whole coronavirus shebang, it’s dispiriting to see so many people proclaim without a wisp of doubt that they know why it’s happening. If the coronavirus pandemic has taught us anything, ...

Don’t Cough on Me, Bro

Decades ago—long before this surreal pandemic that forever mangled the world as we knew it—I concluded that it was far worse to give someone the common cold by being an inconsiderate, unhygienic slob than to purposely punch them in the face. As someone who’s taken maybe a hundred shots to the ...

Joe Biden

Rapey Joe Gets Fingered

Would you rather have a rapist or an Alzheimer’s patient as your president? If Joe Biden gets elected, you may wind up with both, but it’s an important question and a crucial distinction. Despite all you hear about Donald Trump being a rapist, I’ve never seen a single video clip where ...

Coronavirus: Busting the Myths

In the global village, it’s hard to find someone who isn’t an idiot. As the saying goes, “In a pandemic, the first victim is truth.” Or maybe I’m getting that wrong—was the real saying, “In a war, the first victims are the enemy’s virgins”? Actually, I think it was, “In times ...

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