Politics

This Guy Really Needs a Lawyer So Let’s Not Give Him One

KANSAS CITY—If you asked any American in, say, 1963 what he thought of the right to lega...

Joe Bob's America

Baristas Are Slowly Going Insane

JACKSONVILLE—First Starbucks had that incident in Philadelphia where two guys were arres...

Joe Bob's America

If You Don’t Shut Up, I’m Gonna Blockchain Your Ass

PITTSBURGH—Guys, you’re probably wondering what you get for your five mil when you buy...

Joe Bob's America

J. Frank Dobie

Goddammit, Don, Too Soon. Too Soon.

PHOENIX—The last time I saw Don Graham, we were talking about all the Canadian students ...

Joe Bob's America

My Byline Is Joe Bob By-God Briggs

CHICAGO—We used to make fun of anybody who would be so arrogant as to put a byline on hi...

Joe Bob's America

I Could Have Been Such a Charming Serial Killer

CLEVELAND—Back in my acting days, I always wanted to be cast as the boyfriend/husband/ch...

Joe Bob's America

So Now Amsterdam Hates Tourists? Fine.

NEW YORK—The goddamn foreigners are trampling the tulips in Bollenstreek. Yes, that...

Joe Bob's America

Stop Lying and Eat Your Salad

HOUSTON—If it doesn’t come from an animal—or, I guess, if you wanna get technical an...

Joe Bob's America

Is There a Vaccine for Vaccine-Haters?

NASHVILLE—If you go to Trenton, the capital of New Jersey, and you look around the stree...

Joe Bob's America

No Thanks, I’ll Skip the Asian Raccoon Feces in My $75 Espresso

SYRACUSE, N.Y.—Over this past weekend there were exactly five places in Southern Califor...

Joe Bob's America

When You Can’t Hold Your Horses

DALLAS—Millions of two-dollar bettors became experts on the rules of horse racing over t...

Joe Bob's America

Samsung Sero

You, Too, Can Live Inside Your Phone

LONDON, Ontario—The great thing about living among Canadians for a few days is that they...

Joe Bob's America

Graceland, Memphis

Heartbreak Luxury Hotels

CHARLOTTE, N.C.—The lawyers and CPAs who run Elvis Presley Enterprises have been threate...

Joe Bob's America

Jack Ma

The Joe Bob Briggs 168-Hour Workweek

MADISON, Miss.—Jack Ma, founder of Alibaba, is a big believer in the twelve-hour workday...